deKay’s Blog

Basketball is rubbish. But NBA Jam? It was AMAZING. So a new NBA Jam is VERY EXCITING!

Perhaps the title for this post should contain a question mark, because, as you’ll see, I have no idea.

We needed a new server at work. We always buy Dell, but The Powers That Be request that all purchases over £3000 require at least three quotes. So off I went to Dell’s website, where I spec’d up a server and they gave me a price on the screen there and then. I then emailed a Dell reseller the same spec, and he emailed me back a price in a few hours. Easy.

For the third quote, I decided to look at similar servers from other companies. HP was temporarily out as their site was playing up, so I thought – IBM do servers, lets look there. That was the first problem, as they pointed me at Lenovo. I went to lenovo.com, and chose Servers. Chose a rack server, and clicked View Models. Then spec’d one up. Easy enough so far, but then what?

There’s no “Buy” button. There’s no price.  There’s no “add to cart” (even though you have a cart). You get given a configuration code, but then what?

In the top right of the servers page, I found a phone number labelled “Buy now from a Partner”. So I rang them, and they told me their system was down so they couldn’t access the sales department via computer, but they’d ring sales and get them to call me back in 10 minutes. Four hours later, I rang back, to be told that they had no record of my call, and it was usual for me to be just put through to sales directly and they didn’t know why I hadn’t been.

They put me through to sales. After being on hold for ten minutes, I got to speak to someone who told me that “this isn’t server sales, you’ll need another number”. They gave me another number, and I rang it. Again, I was put on hold for ages, only to be cut off as soon as someone answered. I rang back, and after another wait spoke to someone.

Turns out this particular department only supply servers to resellers.

They gave me another number to try, which was busy when I rang it. I called back the next day, eventually getting through. Only to be told I’d come through to the wrong department. Sigh.

This department gave me another number. Which, unsurprisingly, was the same one I’d run originally. This was going really well. I rang them, to be told – again – their system was down and they couldn’t contact sales. But they took my name, number and email address and would “get right back” to me. That was over a week ago.

I therefore declare it IMPOSSIBLE to buy a Lenovo server, and, by inference, I simply refuse to accept that Lenovo servers physically exist. I find it astonishing that a company of Lenovo’s size can be so disorganised and incompetent, and completely unable to even provide me with a price for something listed on their own website!

For what it’s worth, HP’s site came back up and took me less than 5 minutes to obtain a price for a similar product.

I got a very strange email yesterday:

From: clement boot
Date: 8 March 2010 12:15
Subject: Order

Dear Customer Service

My name is Rev Clement Boot with the Boot’s & Company Inc and i am
sending this email to your business as per regards to the order for
some ((Bar Grating)) . I will want you to send me an email response
back with the types of ((Bar Grating))that you carry as well as their
prices that you carry in stock now so that i can make my selection and
let you know the type that i am looking for so that we can proceed
with the order and i will also like to know the forms of payment that
you accept so that we can proceed with the order.

Best Regards
Rev. Boot

Since, bizarrely, I also happen to run a company that make gratings and fences (not actually true), I thought I’d best email him back post haste!

Hello Dear Mr Rev. Boot,

I am very glad you have the time in contacting our company for the very purpose of enquiring about the products in the type of Bar Grating that we are producers of. We have many Bar Grading products suitable for floors and fencings. We have thicknesses for you from 10MM to 500MM and make curves to a degrees of 90%. Bar Gratings can be made from steel or 17% iron alloy bronze.

Payments can be made by PAYPAL or WESTERN UNION, in advancement of your shipping.

Please supply the specifications of the Bar Grating you wish to buy from us and our sales will invoice you with pricings for our produce.

Best Regards,
Mr. Harry Bloxham
Gratings and Fencings GMBH.

Could be onto a bit of cash here!

Update at 09:30!

Seems I’m not the only person the very Rev Boot has been contacting! This guy was asked to provide details of his kayak products, and this one was asked for 200.000pcs of iron! Clearly Clement is a terrorist.

Nintendo’s Wii gets a bit of a hard time on gaming forums and newsgroups. In the eyes of many, it’s still a console for kids and/or old people. If you enjoy playing Wii games, the 360 and PS3 owners sneer at you as if you can’t afford a “proper” console (even though the 360 is cheaper!). They wonder how you can possibly like playing games with “last gen graphics” and “tacked on waggle”.

What they’re not realising, is that graphics do not make a game, and not all Wii games are $some_activity Party – even if most are.

Take for instance the games I’ve been playing recently: Mario Kart Wii, New Super Mario Bros Wii, Castlevania Rebirth, Mega Man 10, Ghost Squad, House of the Dead: Overkill, The Conduit and Rabbids Go Home. None of these are available on another current console (although Mega Man 10 will be out on XBLA and PSN next week), and yet all get blasted for one or more of the issues listed above.

Some, such as Ghost Squad and HotD, would simply be rubbish on the PS3 or 360 as they don’t have the controls (a light gun) necessary to play them. Others would be just the same, only perhaps shinier (Mario Kart and New Super Mario Bros). Some would actually be exactly the same (Mega Man 10, Castlevania). However, if all these games were released elsewhere, nobody would look down at them, pointing and laughing.

Instead, people ignore the great titles available on the Wii and settle back to “enjoy” the latest Call Of Duty: Dull Soldier Shooting and Generic Racing Game X, because they look great. They may well play great too, but that doesn’t mean they’re better.

So while I’ll happily play Batman: Arkham Asylum and GTA IV in glorious HD, I’ll have at least as much fun shooting mutants in the face in SD House of the Dead, and BWAAAAAAAHing at everyone and everything in Last-Gen-Graphics Rabbids Go Home. Because, y’know, fun is in the doing, not the seeing.

Today, I was pleased to see that online music “experience” and music streaming service Last.fm were doing their bit for carbon dioxide emissions and bandwidth reduction by pausing the radio if they detected I may have been eaten by a bear.

After all, there’s nothing worse than letting the creature who has devoured you waste your precious internets.

I made a custom Wii case today. I’ll make you one, if you like: just £49.99!

Note to self: Stay away from forum trading folders.

It’s been a while since I “reprinted” any of ugvm. In Issue 07, the last under my editorship, we looked at multiplayer game etiquette, the CD32, the NeoGeo Pocket Colour, and about ten million game reviews. Including Knights of the Old Republic, a pre-cursor to Mass Effect – a game I’m currently enjoying very much.

Anyhoo – the magazine!

Google Buzz was unleashed on the world this week. I can’t see the point yet – it’s like a more accessible, but clumsier, Google Wave. Brought to you in the form of a clone Twitter feed. Sort of.

The mobile version lets you add your location. Unlike Twitter’s map reference, Buzz displays your position as an address; a street name, shop, or business. Or for me, it thinks I might be inside a man.

The thing is, I know Shaun Conway. He was my driving instructor 10 11 14 years ago. And although he did have very nice hands, I don’t think I’d take it as far as Buzz is suggesting.

In what is perhaps the least impressive claim to fame ever (and it’s not even the first time it’s happened to me), my text message was read out on Radio 1 this morning. I had to put “Comedy” Dave right about his suggestion that the new millennium started in 2000, when it actually started in 2001. Oh, the hilarity.

That’s the text message I sent, and this is a clip from the Chris Moyles show. I’m about 2:05 in.

The Chris Moyles Show