Kurt Russell is an awkwardly almost-funny trucker who somehow ends up part of a fight against supernatural Chinese supermen and a very old, almost dead, guy who wants to regain his youth by marrying and then sacrificing a girl with green eyes.

The plot has huge holes. Some of it doesn’t even make sense. Lo Pan (the evil old bloke) reminds me of Davros. The acting is rubbish, several of the characters are completely superfluous, the Chinese girl (with green eyes) says about three words in total. Wang, one of the good guys, summons up amazing martial arts skills from out of nowhere. It’s nonsense. Complete nonsence.

But it’s also pretty ace. Despite having Kim Cattrall in it.

Verdict: 3/5