Alphabest: GameCube – J

J is for Jay

jeremy mcgrath

Where would we be without J, eh? Ancient Rome, that’s where. Ho ho. Let us see what one of our more modern, relatively speaking, letters has brought us.

J

Good grief. What a pile of tripe. It’s going to be hard to pick something even decent from this list, let alone anything good.

Let us start by discounting Jikkyou Powerful Pro Yakyuu 9. And Jikkyou Powerful Pro Yakyuu 9 Chou Ketteiban. And Jikkyou Powerful Pro Yakyuu 10. And Jikkyou Powerful Pro Yakyuu 10 Chou Ketteiban. And… you get the idea. Nine of these baseball games graced the GameCube, in Japan at least, one every 6 months or so. I’m sure they’re great baseball games. They might even be the very best baseball games. But they’re baseball games.

Then there’s Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, which falls in the category of Dire Nickelodeon Licensed Trash (I think that’s a real genre, actually). It won’t be winning any prizes sat there, I can tell you.

Which brings us limping to The Best J Has To Offer. Hold onto your hats, kids!

Jeremy McGrath Supercross World is a cross country motorbike racing game that just loves brown. Do you love bikes and brown? You’ll love this then! Maybe. Actually, it just looks a lot like that boring brown track on Mario Kart 64. But still – it’s not terrible. Well maybe a bit. Mmm, brown.

judge dreddJudge Dredd: Dredd vs. Death is a first person shooter with quite nice cartoon graphics. It’s no XIII, but it does let you arrest perps (and/or shoot them in the legs) and say I AM THE LAW. And pretend you have the largest chin in the world. OK, so you bounce up and down like you’re on a space hopper as you walk, but dat chin.

And the Alphabest?

I’m pretty sure this is the worst collection of games for an Alphabest so far. Even the very best is poor at most. But! A winner must be decided, and I’ve decided it will be… Judge Dredd: Dredd vs. Death. Mainly because it has Judge Dredd in it.

Everyone pray for K.

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