Play Want Bin Expense: 2017-04-24

Not a single Korok in sight.

This week, a different Zelda. A better Zelda. No, really.

Play

The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages (3DS)
I’ve long enthused about how the Oracles games are the very best Zelda games. Many people say Link to the Past or Ocarina of Time are, but they are Wrong. Some people have also said that Breath of the Wild is now the best, and although I can see why they’d say this, they’re also Wrong. Not least because it isn’t a proper Zelda game. But, doubting myself, I thought I’d play Ages (and then Seasons, I expect) through again. I was Right. It’s great. Some of the very best puzzles Zelda has to offer. An incredibly well designed world, where map areas are unlocked as you progress. Is it linear? Yes. That doesn’t matter.

Picross e7 (3DS)
Still nowhere near finishing this, but I was pleased to see that one of the puzzles was a toilet. Any game with a toilet in it is a big plus for me. In fact, if Oracle of Ages had toilets in it (and it might yet, although I don’t think it does) it could be the best game ever.

Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap (Switch)
So good. So hard! There’s some black magic involved here too, as there’s no way the screens can be just re-skinned versions of the Master System originals. They’re too pretty, too slick. Yet, if you press R, there’s yer proof. It’s incredible. In terms of how much I’ve played, I got to Pirate Dragon and he’s impossible.

Yandere Simulator (Mac)
Curiosity pushed me to play this. I stabbed someone, which caused minor alarm, but then I was expelled because I had blood on me. Odd. Then I played again, stoved a girl’s head in with a dumbbell, then threw her off a roof. Once more, terror I did a murder, but only punishment for having blood splashes on my clothes. And maybe because I had a toy sheep on my head. I don’t know. Oh! Some great toilets, even if you can’t use the sinks in there to wash.

Assassin’s Creed Syndicate (PS4)
Jacob’s ladyfriend turned out to be a wrongun then. That’s a spoiler, by the way, but hardly a big one. I saw it coming anyway. A bigger spoiler is the bit that happens if you go to the big helixy thing on the right of the map. That was… odd.

Puyo Puyo Tetris Demo (Switch)
Sort of want the full game now. But since the demo does all the stuff I’d want of the full game, I’m not sure I need to buy it.

Claire: Extended Cut (Vita)
This was a hassle to get working, because my Vita appears to be knackered. Crashes all the damn time. Had to restore everything. Twice. ANYWAY. It wasn’t worth it as the game isn’t very interesting and is far too dark to play properly. And the map is a horror, reminding me of the one from Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate. I’ve no idea where to go, what’s going on, and can’t see a thing.

Want

Sonic Mania please. And some other stuff, but mainly that.

Bin

Fingers. And toes. And just skin in general.

Expense

Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap (Switch) – £14.39

Play Want Bin Expense: 2017-04-17

It’s been a while, partly due to holidays and partly due to my damn fingers still hurting. Which means I’ve three weeks of stuff to post about. Which mainly means one game.

Play

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch)
Over 100 hours on Breath of the Wild now. I think, possibly, I may have done all I want to. I found all the memories, all the shrines, completed (and fully upgraded) some armour sets, and fought Ganon again. I’ve explored, farmed dragons, beaten a White Maned Lynel, completed most of the side quests, and found about 200 koroks. Sure, there are more koroks. And quests. But there’s no purpose to any of it any more.

Assassin’s Creed Syndicate (PS4)
Which is… good. It’s different to Unity in several important ways – character switching being one, territory take-overs being another – but the core gameplay is the same as it ever was. It feels a lot like Assassin’s Creed Revelations so far, with the gangs being not dissimilar to that game’s assassins. It was a little bizarre that the game opened properly in Whitechapel, which is where I was on holiday. So far, I’m on Sequence 4 or 5. It’s a little hard to tell as the story missions seem to be mingled with the non-story side missions.

Lego Dimensions (PS4)
After a break, we (my daughter and I) were back on this to start, and complete, the Mission: Impossible level pack. It’s based on the first film (as in, the first one with Tom Cruise in rather than anything from the original TV series), and is pretty good fun. Ethan Hunt’s drone thing is great, and it’s typical funny Lego game stuff.

Picross e7 (3DS)
It’s more picross. A lot of picross, actually. I’m sure this is the biggest Picross e game so far, as I’m 10 hours in and less than a third done.

The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages (3DS)
It’s better than Breath of the Wild. Probably. Maybe. Just a couple of hours in so far, and really enjoying it. Swapping weapons is a bit of a chore, but then it always was. I’m actually not missing the open world of Breath of the Wild either, which I thought I would, but then Breath of the Wild isn’t a Zelda game in any way bar name and theme. So there’s that.

Want

Some Switch games. Yes, they’re out, but I haven’t bought them yet: Lego City Undercover, Blaster Master Zero, Little Inferno and Shovel Knight Treasure Trove. Really should complete (or at least play more) of Neo Turf Masters and Fast RMX before I do that. Also: Sonic Mania.

Bin

Fingers. And hands, feet, legs, lips, nose, arms… most of my skin. Itchy, not tasty.

Expense

Very little. I did pick up Galactic Civilisations (PC) for free from Humble, and got Shantae: Risky’s Revenge – Director’s Cut (PS4) for £1.99 in the PSN Easter sale. That’s it!

Play Want Bin Expense: 2017-03-27

I did the thing.

It took a while, but I did it. No, not just complete a Breath of the Wild (that “just” took 70-odd hours) – I mean any 3D Zelda at all.

Play

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch)
As I said, I completed it. Sure, I didn’t get all the memories (not yet, anyway), but I did all the bosses and stuff and really rather enjoyed it. It isn’t Zelda, and that works in its favour for me. Looks lovely, has plenty to do, nice mechanics, and only a few small problems that don’t really hinder it. Except weapons breaking all the time, of course.

Neo Turf Masters (Switch)
One of the best golf games of all time, and I’m terrible at it. Well, I’m fine for the first 8-10 holes, managing to stay at the top of the table, and then something goes wrong and I get double and triple bogeys all over the shop and before you know it I’m in 27th place and it’s all over.

Splatoon 2 (Switch)
Not the full game, of course – just the Test Fire preview server hamming test thing. Unsurprisingly, it’s more of the first game. Some different weapons, new levels (only two were available it seems), and no always-there map screen, but essentially, it’s the same game. Again. Not that that’s a bad thing, mind.

Want

All the same things. As opposed to all the small things, I suppose. Top of the list, is probably Sonic Mania (Switch). Mario Kart 8 Deluxe and Lego City Undercover (both Switch) too, but less so as I already technically own them on the Wii U. Like that matters.

Bin

Fingers, still. They’re not really any worse, but they’re also not better.

Expense

Neo Turf Masters (Switch) – £5.03

Alphabest: GameCube – K

K is for Killing Me Softly

In which we discover yet another letter the GameCube doesn’t exactly excel with. Bear with me.

K

Honestly, there are some great letters coming up. Really there are. Until then, let’s have a look at some K stuff. Starting with Knights of the Temple: Infernal Crusade, a hacky-slashy arcade adventure game which feels a little like a precursor to Dark Souls. It’s visually pretty impressive (albeit very brown), and the combat is surprisingly good, but it’s nothing special in the gameplay department.

Kirby Air Ride would, you’d expect seeing as it’s a Kirby game, be fantastic. Sadly, it is not. No, what we have here is a sub-par racing game. A cute one, but with limited long-term appeal and ultimately a waste of a licence. It’s no F-Zero or Mario Kart, certainly.

Before EA’s Fight Night, that mostly well received boxing series, was Knockout Kings. Knockout Kings 2003 is the only entry that appeared on the GameCube, and is boxing. Boxing is rubbish. Especially when it doesn’t have the great stick-per-hand controls of Fight Night, so it’s off the list.

Joining it, and also boxing related, is the very definition of generic animal-based platformer: Kao the Kangaroo Round 2. It’s a kangaroo wearing boxing gloxes because of course it is. Even Rayman is better than this. Hell, even Gex 3D is be…oh, maybe not.

With those out of the way, we’re left with the best of K.

killer7Killer7 was originally intended to be one of Capcom’s GameCube exclusives, which also included Viewtiful Joe and Resident Evil 4. It’s a stylish, on-rails first person shooter with the usual Suda51 hallmarks – violence, ladies, an incredible soundtrack and a nuts plot. It was somewhat repetitive and perhaps a bit limited though, and perhaps hasn’t aged well.

kelly slater's pro surferKelly Slater’s Pro Surfer is exactly what you’d expect to get if you took the Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater engine and applied it to, well, surfing. Certainly that limits the scope somewhat, but amazingly Activision managed to make it work. Just as much fun as Tony Hawk, in some ways more focussed and “cool”, just a bit less replayability. And better sunsets.

And the Alphabest?

Obviously you’re all expecting me to say award winning, critically acclaimed classic Killer7 here, aren’t you? Well, I’m not. It absolutely is a great game for many, but I just couldn’t get on with it. I constantly wanted a lightgun, and it just wasn’t as much fun as Kelly Slater.

That’s right. I’m putting Kelly Slater’s Pro Surfer down here as the best K game for the GameCube. Ahead of Killer7. Suda51 might be cool, but surfing, man, that’s more cool.

L next time. Join me then for more lists. Woo!

Play Want Bin Expense: 2017-03-20

Still no Linkle.

That Zelda game, eh? Blimey.

Play

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch)
Some 60 hours in now. I downed the third big beastie, but then went off somewhere else and haven’t gone back. Instead, I’ve been finding shrines and towers and stuff, (52 of the former completed, all bar one of the latter) have explored a lot, found some more memories, and reached Rito Village. I’m still enjoying it. A lot, now. But it’s still no HYRULE WARRIORS.

The Battle Cats POP! (3DS)
Completed! I’ve unlocked a new chapter too, but not sure if I can be bothered to play any further.

Thirty Flights of Loving (Mac)
I completed this too. It was hard not to, actually, since it was only about 20 minutes long. It’s a narrative discovery game, with a disjointed story and everyone in it looks like they’ve been ripped out of Minecraft. Maybe that’s intentional. Had a few technical issues (it crashed), and afterwards I did think “is that it?”. Seems, yes, that is it.

Potatoman Seeks the Troof (Mac)
A side scrolling platform dodge-em-up. Apparently it’s very short, but I still didn’t complete it because the level on a mountain is too hard. It looks like an Atari 2600 game, which I like. I may try again.

Want

Same as last week. Sonic Mania, in particular. Lego City Undercover is out soon (again) as well, so I’ll be needing that. Both Switch, of course.

Bin

This finger pain. Still no known cause of it. At least I can mostly keep a lid on it at the moment, even if it does mean keeping so warm I melt.

Expense

Thankfully, nothing. Phew!

Alphabest: GameCube – J

J is for Jay

Where would we be without J, eh? Ancient Rome, that’s where. Ho ho. Let us see what one of our more modern, relatively speaking, letters has brought us.

J

Good grief. What a pile of tripe. It’s going to be hard to pick something even decent from this list, let alone anything good.

Let us start by discounting Jikkyou Powerful Pro Yakyuu 9. And Jikkyou Powerful Pro Yakyuu 9 Chou Ketteiban. And Jikkyou Powerful Pro Yakyuu 10. And Jikkyou Powerful Pro Yakyuu 10 Chou Ketteiban. And… you get the idea. Nine of these baseball games graced the GameCube, in Japan at least, one every 6 months or so. I’m sure they’re great baseball games. They might even be the very best baseball games. But they’re baseball games.

Then there’s Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, which falls in the category of Dire Nickelodeon Licensed Trash (I think that’s a real genre, actually). It won’t be winning any prizes sat there, I can tell you.

Which brings us limping to The Best J Has To Offer. Hold onto your hats, kids!

Jeremy McGrath Supercross World is a cross country motorbike racing game that just loves brown. Do you love bikes and brown? You’ll love this then! Maybe. Actually, it just looks a lot like that boring brown track on Mario Kart 64. But still – it’s not terrible. Well maybe a bit. Mmm, brown.

judge dreddJudge Dredd: Dredd vs. Death is a first person shooter with quite nice cartoon graphics. It’s no XIII, but it does let you arrest perps (and/or shoot them in the legs) and say I AM THE LAW. And pretend you have the largest chin in the world. OK, so you bounce up and down like you’re on a space hopper as you walk, but dat chin.

And the Alphabest?

I’m pretty sure this is the worst collection of games for an Alphabest so far. Even the very best is poor at most. But! A winner must be decided, and I’ve decided it will be… Judge Dredd: Dredd vs. Death. Mainly because it has Judge Dredd in it.

Everyone pray for K.

Play Want Bin Expense: 2017-03-13

Retool Warriors

All of the Zelda, all of the time.

Play

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch)
I said a lot about this last week, and now, some 35+ hours in, I stand by what I said. I’ve “released” two divine beasts now, and boarded a third, but it still feels like Assassin’s Creed. I’m not enjoying the crafting or the constantly breaking weapons, but I am still enjoying the game as a whole. So there’s that, I suppose.

The Battle Cats POP! (3DS)
The only thing other than Zelda I’ve played all week, pretty much. Imagine a simplified Swords and Soldiers, only with various cats as your soldiers, and you’ve pretty much got it. It’s great too, but there’s a massive, massive flaw. It’s built like a mobile game with IAPs. After a while, you can’t play any more levels because you’ve no energy and have to wait for it to regenerate. Or, as you’d expect for a mobile game with IAPs, buy something with real money (cat food, in this case) to hurry things along. Except… there’s no way of buying IAPs in the game. All the “fun” of an IAP game, with none of the “benefits”. So now I have to wait 90 minutes to continue playing for no actual reason. Amazing.

Want

Lots of Switch indie stuff like Shovel Knight, Stardew Valley and WarGroove, but no point buying anything until Zelda is complete. Not that they’re all out yet anyway. Some new Sonic Mania videos came out this week and it looks bloody awesome. Just look at this:

Bin

Whatever the hell I have wrong with my nervous system. Cold/hot/tingling/painful skin. Mainly my fingers and toes, but also my arms and legs to a lesser degree.

Expense

Nothing this week. Which, considering last week, is probably for the best.

Play Want Bin Expense: 2017-03-06

Link! He come to town!

It’s March already. Blimey. That means the Nintendo Switch is out! Good job I got one of them then, eh?

Play

BioShock: Burial at Sea (PC)
Both Episode 1, which I completed, and Episode 2 which I’m less than an hour into. It’s confusing. I don’t understand which DeWitt/Comstock I am, or rather, was, and now into Episode 2 I have my concerns about who Elizabeth is as well. I’m pretty sure she’s a Little Sister, but who knows? I’ve been enjoying it but it doesn’t quite mesh the two BioShock eras together.

And then of course, I got a Switch. You can read more about that in my previous post, which includes some bits about the games I’ve played on it too. The main one, of course, is:

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch)
I wrote a big bit here, but to summarise: It isn’t Zelda, it’s Assassin’s Creed. It isn’t bad, but HYRULE WARRIORS is far, far better. It looks nice. It has a jerky framerate. I’m enjoying it though, which isn’t what I expected.

Want

Sonic and Mario Switch games, but they’re a waaaaaay off right now. I think I want Shovel Knight: Treasure Trove on the Switch, as I loved the original but never played much of the DLC. Blaster Master Zero and Pocket Rumble this week too, and I want both of them.

Further away, Stardew Valley, Lego City Undercover, Puyo Puyo Tetris, Snake Pass, Yooka Laylee, Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap, SteamWorld Dig 2, WarGroove, Hollow Knight, ToeJam and Earl 4 and Dragon Quest Heroes I&II.

That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.

Bin

Carpal tunnel. Or whatever the hell it is that’s causing me to have cold fingertips.

Expense

Oh no. Oh no.

Nintendo Switch – £271.45
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Special Edition – £56.46
Neon Joy-Con Pair – £77.45
Pro Controller – £58.60
Snipperclips – £15.60
Fast RMX – £12.74

Oops.