The Nintendo Switch

I hear hot takes are the done thing these days.

This week, Nintendo finally unveiled the console that until Thursday was known as the Nintendo NX: The Nintendo Switch. It’s a car crash.

nintendo switch
The Nintendo Switch. JUST LOOK AT IT. Urgh.

I hate everything about it. The tiny little controllers. The way it seems to be aimed at millennial hipsters. The way it doesn’t fix the issue of too many controller types that the Wii and Wii U suffered from. The stupid little kick stand for when you need a tiny console to play on an aeroplane. Having a screen when most of the time you won’t need a screen. The new Nintendo logo. The way it sort of replaces both the Wii U and the 3DS without actually doing so.

It is all utter nonsense. Nintendo have lost the plot. Although they did provide us all with this:

nintendo switch
Lip biting confirmed.

The system is absolutely not what I want from a Nintendo console, but that does present a question: what do I want from a Nintendo console?

The answer? I don’t know.

I do know what I want from Nintendo games – that’s easy: fun, happy blue skies games without swearing that my family will also enjoy, but in terms of hardware I have no idea. Maybe this tablet with detachable controllers will be excellent, or maybe being able to use two tiny pads with a tiny screen in two player will end up being a killer feature. I can’t see it right now, but Nintendo have a habit of knowing what works.

It may not have been commercially successful, but the Wii U is a great console. The 3DS may not have matched the sales of the DS, but it’s a fantastic little machine. The Wii sold well but was derided for the slew of crap it put out and the “waggle” in titles, but there were some incredible games for it.

Ultimately, it would seem that although I don’t know what I want from Nintendo hardware, Nintendo do, and in the end it’s the games that matter. And the games will be outstanding, because they’re Nintendo games.

And for that, I’m in for a Nintendo Switch. All the way in:

nintendo switch

Where have all the Wasabi Peanuts gone?

Wasabi? A yellow insect with a sting.

Not that long ago, I had a craving for some wasabi peanuts. Either the coated type or the dusted type, I wasn’t that fussed, but my local shops didn’t have any. This was disappointing, but it set me off looking for them with a keenness.

After trying many shops, it became clear that they had gone. They used to be there, I remember buying them, but now they are not. Tesco, Morrisons, Asda, Sainsbury’s – nothing. I even asked in Holland and Barrett, who told me they had literally just discontinued them and I was the second person to ask that week.

Even Graze, who I used to use a lot 1, no longer have any wasabi peanut products. There has to be some sort of conspiracy. Yutaka, who make them, point to a number of companies who supposedly stock their product, but guess what? They don’t.

Of course, you can still buy some, of a different brand, on Amazon, but the high street is devoid. Wasabi peas are still easy to come by, but they’re not the same. Wasabi rice crackers aren’t too hard to find either, and Holland and Barrett had a range of other wasabi covered pulses and stuff, all of which are nice but aren’t wasabi peanuts.

I’ve ended up buying chilli coated peanuts instead. They’re hot (at least, some of them are – the Sainsbury’s birds eye chilli peanuts are, the H&B ones less so), but again, they’re not wasabi. I’ll have to just get some online, but chances are, by the time they arrive, I’ll have gone off the idea. Or I’ll order too many and be sick of them. Or worse, I’ll hate them and never want to eat them ever again.


  1. On a related note, what the hell happened to razzcherries? They’ve vanished too!

Some Comments About This Week’s Apple iPhone Event

This wouldn’t have happened on Steve’s watch.

It is somewhat fitting that Nintendo made an appearance at an Apple iPhone announcement. Not because they’re similar companies, or are both in competition with Sony and Microsoft, or because I’m a fan of both. No, it’s because 11 years ago Nintendo made the same mistake Apple revealed they’d made this week.

Yes, I’m talking about the announcement that the new iPhone 7 won’t have a 3.5mm headphone socket.

GBA SP adapter
Remember these?

When Nintendo released the Game Boy Advance SP, it was lauded by many – including me – as a great improvement over the original Game Boy Advance. A lit screen, a clamshell design, and a rechargeable battery built in. Bafflingly, however, the power socket did double duty – you charged and powered the GBA SP with it of course, but as the SP didn’t have a headphone socket, you used the power socket via an adapter to plug your headphones in. A decision Nintendo didn’t repeat with the DS, DS Lite, DSi, DSi XL, 3DS, 3DS XL, 2DS, New 3DS or New 3DS XL. With good reason: it was bloody stupid.

And here is Apple doing the same thing. You can’t charge your phone and listen to music/games/podcasts/whatever you happen to be using it for at the same time. Why would you want to do that? Because smartphone batteries are rubbish, and with apps like Pokémon Go draining then ever so quickly, being able to charge (even if on the go with a battery pack like I do) is a must. In fact, I regularly walk listening to podcasts, playing Pokémon Go, powering my phone at the same time – with an iPhone 7, I can’t do that. In fact, I can’t even use normal headphones without charging it at the same time, unless I use an adapter to allow them to plug into the now all-purpose Lightning socket.

“Oh!” you cry, “But you can! You can use wireless Bluetooth headphones!”. No, no I can’t. Have you ever used them? The quality is poor unless you pay hundreds of pounds. They desync themselves. There’s interference. Worst of all – they need power, and so need charging themselves!

And have you seen those that Apple are peddling for ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY POUNDS? They look like Pat Butcher’s earrings, need charging (and only last 5 hours on a charge), and are going to fall out and get lost so easily. They’re an option not even worth consideration.

Apple Airpods
No. Just no.

The lack of headphone jack was pretty much guaranteed to happen, given the leaks and rumours in the last few months. Less certain were the size and specs, and sadly there’s disappointment there too.

Not with the specs, though. The power of the device is great, and increased on-board storage (iOS devices never seem to have enough) is welcome. Improved cameras are nice too. No, the problem is that the iPhone 7, just like the iPhone 6, it just too damn big. I find my 5S a bit on the large side, to be honest, and a 6 is impossible to use with one hand. A 6 Plus (and therefore the 7 Plus) is basically a tablet in comparison.

I was relieved last year when they announced the iPhone SE, as it’s the same as the 5S in dimensions, but around as powerful as the (then) new 6S. OK, it didn’t have force touch or a couple of other new features, but it meant there was still going to be an iPhone for me when it was time to upgrade or replace.

But is that still the case? Nothing about a new SE was mentioned this week. No SE sized phone with mostly 7 innards revealed. Of course, it may still happen, but I don’t think the SE sold especially well so it may not. Even if it does, will it ditch the headphone socket too?

I’m not going to be looking for a new phone for a while yet anyway. My 5S has a year or two still in it (dependant on Apple’s usual built-in obsolescence trigger once iOS 10 is installed, naturally), so my fingers are crossed for something I can accept before then.

As for Nintendo springing an iOS based touch screen Mario auto-runner on us all… well. I think a part of me died, unsurprising as the Apple event was more like a eulogy than the excited announcement of a new child.

A Yodel Adventure

Throw a six to start.

We all know how disappointed we are when, straight off the excitement that some new shiny toy has been dispatched, we discover it is being couriered by one of the less reliable delivery companies such as Amazon Logistics, Hermes, or Yodel. The tales of how packages have ended up in hedges, in wheelie bins that have been collected, on roofs and at houses that don’t actually exist speak on behalf of these businesses, and I’ll avoid using any online retailer that uses them whenever possible.

However, that’s not always feasable, and sometimes – like last week – I’ve no way of knowing who will be tasked with bringing me my precious. Ages ago, I pre-ordered a PocketCHIP, and a couple of weeks back it was dispatched. I’ll talk about it in another post soon, but needless to say I was looking forward to it arriving. Then, the international courier passed it over to Yodel and it was all doom and gloom from then on in.

I’m happy to report that Yodel did actually deliver in the end, albeit a day late, but I amused myself with these parcel delivery statuses while waiting impatiently.








As the day of delivery came to a close, time was running out:


And overnight, I feared for the safety of my package.





I was just about to give up all hope.


When finally, my parcel arrived:


That BBC David Bowie Prom Thing

It’s a God awful small affair

Just a short missive about the BBC’s special David Bowie Prom night because I don’t want to dwell on it too much, but in Comic Book Guy fashion I felt I needed to register my disgust on that place where much disgust is registered: The Internet.

That’s a little too harsh as I was not disgusted by the prom at all. No, like you’d chide a naughty child, I was simply disappointed.

I’ve written about Bowie before, so you’ll know I was a massive fan. He was a artist who went through many changes (no pun intended) in his musical influences and style, and there are fans like me who took in this broad body of work, and others who are more limited to certain albums or eras. That’s fine, but it does mean that any collected works is likely to contain tracks that these second type of fan won’t appreciate. Even I wondered about the inclusion of Lady Grinning Soul and After All in this concert, but I’m not going to complain.

No, my complaint is more about how tracks were arranged and performed, and more specifically who was chosen to perform them. I’m not adverse to reworkings, covers or sampling work at all, and often enjoy differently interpreted works, but some of the performances here were truly baffling.

To keep it brief, the two worst points were John Cale, and (surprisingly) Marc Almond. I’m no fan of Almond, but I don’t dislike his previous work and quite enjoyed his performance with Jools Holland that I attended a few years back. He can certainly sing, but his Bowie performance was flat, monotone and without emotion or talent. John Cale commandeered by ego much of the latter part of the concert and hacked and slashed his way through Space Oddity in such a way it made me wish they’d brought Commander Hadfield on instead.

Paul Buchanan and Anna Calvi tried their best to ruin the show further, but thankfully excellent performances by Amanda Palmer and Neil Hannon dragged the event out of the gutter, and Laura Mvula’s take on Girl Loves Me was genuinely outstanding.

The David Bowie Prom was such a waste of an opportunity, a curious collection of performers, and a terribly disappointing concert as a result.

My Nintendo

Looking a gift horse in the mouth (and finding it empty)

When it launched a few months ago, virtually alongside Miitomo, My Nintendo seemed like a decent improvement on the old Club Nintendo rewards programme. Although buying physical games no longer awarded you loyalty points, digital titles still did, and now you could gain points just from performing tasks like linking social accounts to your Nintendo ID, using Miitomo, and regularly signing into Miiverse and the eShop.

Quickly, I racked up enough of these new coins to buy the Zelda Picross game from the My Nintendo Rewards page, which was pretty good, and I looked forward to obtaining more free games like this.

But where are they?

Yes, there was the option of buying the Nintendo DS Wario Ware game for the 3DS with Nintendo Coins, but I already own a copy of that which works on my 3DS. A couple of Virtual Console games appeared too, but I already have them, and that’s it – nothing else.

OK, that isn’t completely true. As I write, there are some free games I don’t own available from the rewards programme, but they all require gold coins (which you obtain from buying eShop titles) rather than platinum ones (that you get from all the other things I’ve listed above). The previously available games I could have “bought” for coins all needed platinum coins.

As it stands, I now have over 4500 platinum coins. Zelda cost just 1000, so you’d except I’d have been able to “buy” a handful more games had they existed to buy. Instead, I have the option of buying useless items for Miitomo (clothing, which is unnecessary, and game tokens which you obtain in plentiful supply anyway) and money off vouchers for eShop games I either already own, or are available cheaper elsewhere even without the discount.

I know it’s a poor show complaining about something which is free, but for something that started so well it’s disappointing that it has in itself become, well, a poor show. It’s also a shame that Pokémon Go doesn’t link into it in any way either – you can’t even use your Nintendo account or NNID to log into it!

A change from our scheduled programming

Today I had a usual Friday “Let’s Play” lined up, but given this morning’s horrendous news, I don’t think it’s appropriate.

I’m mourning the death of my country and my faith in people to do the right thing and I seriously think this is the beginning of something far worse.

Normal service will resume tomorrow.

Things I learned at Legoland about Other People

Some people, eh?

Legoland was great. It rained, but it was great. However: Many of the people who went to Legoland were not. Here’s what I learned.

  1. Signs that say “no smoking” are merely guidelines. If you want to smoke, just smoke anywhere, why not? Sure, there are designated smoking areas, but you’ve been stuck in a queue for half an hour so you know what? You deserve a fag right now.
  2. It is impossible to put children near fences and railings without said fences and railings being climbed on. Even when there are signs that tell you not to, and even when Legoland staff politely request that your children don’t climb the barrier because it’s a safety hazard, it’s perfectly fine to do it.
  3. When you’re told “don’t hold your child in your lap” because it’s dangerous and they might actually die, that doesn’t actually apply to you at all. Even when the ride is stopped as a result.
  4. When your child is not tall enough to ride, and you are told this as you enter the queue (there’s a thing to measure them against) and again by a member of staff when you reach the front of the queue, arguing the toss will apparently make your child suddenly have a growth spurt or the safety rules for the ride will magically be relaxed. Even more so if you complain about how long you’ve waited.
  5. All 7-10 year old boys are incapable of pooing anywhere besides in their own pants, at least judging from the smell and how they walk.
  6. When you’ve spent two hours in a car full of excited children on the way to Legoland, then half an hour queuing to get in and paying a King’s Ransom for the privilege of entering the park, definitely the best thing to do immediately is force your family to sit with you while you have a burger and a coke.
  7. When rain is forecast days in advance, and it’s raining when you leave the house, and raining when you arrive at Legoland, and it is still forecast to rain the whole of the rest of the day, you are certainly within your rights to complain that one ride has been closed and demand a complete refund.
  8. As soon as you are through the gates at Legoland, your children are no longer your responsibility. Are they misbehaving? Being a danger to themselves and others? Not your problem! They have staff to sort that out. Signs that tell you to supervise your children? You don’t need to pay attention to them.
  9. When a ride which exists primarily to get the riders wet, gets you wet, of course you have a right to complain angrily to the poor woman operating the ride who has already warned you that you will get wet.
  10. Waa waa waa. A ride broke down. Waa waa waa the food is too expensive. Waa waa waa. They’re building a new hotel? What the hell for? Waa waa waa. It’s raining and I’m getting wet. Waa waa waa. Moan bloody moan bloody moan.

How the friendly, helpful and genuinely lovely Legoland staff cope with this (combined with the same music on a loop all day every day) without killing anyone remains a mystery.

Xbox Live Gold, free, only it isn’t

Free as in free, or free as in, you can’t have it?

This was a frustrating experience, but first, a little history. For many years, my most used (and possibly… favourite?) console was my Xbox 360. I’ve over 200 games for it, and I was an Xbox Live Gold member from the very start of its appearance on the original Xbox (let’s call that the, ooh, Xbox 1) until some time in 2013 when it became clear I was spending most of my time playing Wii U games and not 360 games, and I just let Gold expire naturally 1. The Xbox 360 fell out of favour a bit.

The last couple of months of my now unused Gold subscription overlapped with the start of Microsoft’s Games With Gold programme, so I picked up a handful of (still unplayed, and two already owned) titles there, and after that, Gold was Gone. In 2015 I was offered a month’s Gold for a quid and took up the offer to get some cheap games with some free credit I’d picked up, and in January this year I did the same again. Lego Lord of the Rings for £3? Except actually free because the credit was free? Don’t mind if I do.

Which brings us to this week. I’ve still got credit remaining, and I noticed that Forza Horizon was on offer. I’d enjoyed the demo and the free Fast and Furious spin-off, so decided to go for it. I powered up my 360 (which takes about ten minutes these days) and there, on the dashboard, was an offer for a month’s free Gold. Excellent, I thought. I can get that, and a month of Games With Gold (not that they’re inspiring – I’ve already got three free copies of Peggle), and a few quid off the cost of Forza Horizon. Sold.

I click the “Sign Up” button, go to purchase content, aaaaand… error code 80153021. Looking this up:

This may mean one of the following:

  • The Xbox Live service is temporarily unavailable.
  • There’s something wrong with your account:
    • You may have an outstanding balance.
    • You Microsoft account country/region may not match your PayPal country/region.
    • Your billing information might be incomplete.

Great. Live is probably broken. Remember when it used to be PSN that was always broken and Live was rock solid? Anyway, I went through the other suggestions – yes, I have an outstanding balance. I have money in my account. Unless you mean an outstanding negative balance – which I neither have, nor know how that could ever happen. I don’t have PayPal set up. My billing information is incomplete, as I have none. The month’s free (note the word “free”) Gold is free. Free, as in, free.

Of course, Microsoft’s stupid system requires you to have a payment option on file even for free items, even though I have credit in my account. Fine. I’ll add one with the intention of removing it immediately after purchasing my free (note the word “free”) month of Gold. Except of course, I can’t get into the Account bit on my Xbox because I get another error message. I forgot to write that number down though. Clearly Live was suffering some problem, although the status for Live didn’t show any issues, so I left it for half an hour.

I came back to the console and tried to purchase the free (note the word “free”) month’s Gold again. This time, before the option of “confirm” even appears, I get this error code: 80190128. The suggestions to fix this were to delete my cache (so I did that) and redownload my profile (and that too). Obviously these didn’t work.

I went back to the billing problem. My 360 still wouldn’t let me access that section of my profile, but would. I added both my card and my Paypal account, restarted my 360 and tried again.


(At this point, someone at Microsoft shouted House! and won a fluffy Blinx the Timesweeper cuddly toy)

This new error code concerns problems with billing and stuff. Oddly, it comes up before I get the chance to confirm my free (note the word “free”) month’s Gold “purchase”, but doesn’t come up if I get that far buying an actual game. I went through the list of “fixes”, stopping short of actually calling my bank because that seemed ludicrously unnecessary especially since I also had PayPal set up and a pile of credit already on my account. For a free purchase, remember. I removed my card details – from the 360 itself, as that section of it then magically started working – but that didn’t help, and then removed PayPal too. Still I got the error code 83820065. I gave up.

Trawling the internet and Twitter, it seems over the last month there have been one hell of a lot of people who have been offered this free (note the word “free”) month’s Gold membership but haven’t been able to take Microsoft up on their suspiciously broken deal. Most have been getting some or all of the same error messages as me, but I can’t find a single person who has had the problem resolved. It looks to me like the offer shouldn’t appear for me or these other people, but it does, and because it isn’t designed for me to access, I can’t “buy” it.

I put this to the Xbox Support online chat, and they told me I certainly should be able to claim the free (note the word “free”) month. They couldn’t help further, as they couldn’t see a reason for it not working and suggested trying again later (which didn’t work) or use another payment card (I don’t have any others), in addition to the steps I’d already been through.

The deal on Forza ran out soon after these problems so I ended up missing out on it. I’d probably never play it anyway, no matter how good, as the 360 is pretty much dead to me these days. Goodnight, sweet prince.


  1. By “naturally”, of course, I mean I had to change a load of settings in my Microsoft Profile and remove my credit card from my account, otherwise the swines would renew it automatically.

Selling Games

Regrets? I have just one.

(This suggestion provided by @xexyzx)

Have you ever sold a game? If so, why?

I’ve always maintained that I have never actually sold any games, ever, aside from one which I traded in (more on that later), but I when I sat and had a proper think about it I remembered that wasn’t actually true: I have sold games before. A long time ago.

When I asked for Sega Mega Drive for Christmas, my parents said I could have one if I paid for half of it. In order to make some money to do this, I held a garage sale and sold some of my stuff. Not a lot of stuff, and unimportant stuff (to me) at the time, but crucially it included some games. I can’t remember any of them. There was a small number of Spectrum tapes, in a box almost exactly like this:

Cassette Case
Image from here

I think most of them were probably Crash or Sinclair User cover tapes. I kept all my Your Sinclair ones, but never had any affection for the other, lesser, magazines so they were probably those that went.

In addition, I sold what I would later realise was some variant of the Magnavox Odyssey 2, which I’d picked up not that long previously from a carboot sale, with a couple of games. One was some sort of Pac-Man clone, but I don’t recall the other. Possibly a space shooter? It’s likely. I’ve since bought an Odyssey 2 (or rather, a Philips G7000) again though.

Anecdote: The Odyssey 2 was sold to a neighbour, who called me round a few days later to complain the console had stopped working. I assumed it’d be something like a cable was unplugged or they needed to retune their TV (ah, RF!) or something, but on arriving I just couldn’t figure it out. The power was working, it appeared to be outputting something to the TV, but neither game cartridge actually operated correctly.

I asked if it had broken while they were using it, or had they just turned it on and it hadn’t worked, and the dad of the family replied with “Warl, they war 1 playun it and ee (gestures to one of the kids) poured cahfee 2 in the ‘ole there (points at cartridge slot). War that that than?”.

Yes. Yes that war.

Anyway, the game that I had remembered I’d traded in I’ve lamented about here, there and everywhere for many years. It remains the only game I have ever regretted buying and, paradoxically, also the one I regret selling. I’ve since bought it again. Which game?

World of Illusion

World of Illusion for the Sega Mega Drive. When it came out, I’d just reached £45 in my pocket money savings and because it had some fantastic reviews, and I hadn’t yet realised that all 16bit Disney games were terrible 3, I bought it from a local games shop (remember them? All gone now) without a second thought.

Within 4 hours of getting it home, I’d rinsed it.

One of the big selling points of World of Illusion was that it was two player, but also that you could play as Mickey or Donald separately (with slightly different levels for each). I sat down and completed it on my first go with Mickey. Then I did the same with Donald. “Well this is a bit too easy,” I thought to myself for probably the first time ever with a game.

I then played two player with a friend who’d just watched me play through it alone twice. And even though he was useless, we finished it in co-op on our first try together too. I was terribly, terribly disappointed. The game was so easy, it was ruined.

Just for fun (because I’d had none), I decided to play it in two player again, only on my own. I controlled Mickey with my hands, and Donald with my feet. And again, completed it on my first attempt. I was almost in tears at all that pocket money being utterly wasted on such utter crap. £45 for less than 4 hours of gameplay.

So I took it right back to the shop and traded it in for the cheaper (they wouldn’t just let me have a refund, sadly) Lemmings. A game which lasted me years and I wish I’d bought in the first place.

I never sold a game after that. But boy did I buy a lot.

(Featured image is from here, is unmodified, and used under this licence)


  1. Norfolk, innit
  2. Norfolk for coffee
  3. They are, this is a Fact