Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3 Demo (360)

As much as I liked the previous C&C games on the PC, and the best RTS game ever made ever Dune II, I can't get on with them on consoles. The controls have never fitted a controller, and I found the C&C 3 demo last year too fiddly and complicated.

Since this is based on the same engine, I expected the same problems. And, yes, I struggled my way through the training and the demo Russian mission. I enjoyed it, and I'm liking the huge number of people who used to be famous that litter the cut scenes, but I do wonder if I'd eventually manage to control the game or would I become too frustrated and give up?

I haven't really played a decent RTS game in years, as I've not played PC games in years, but maybe I should stick with something like this?

Super Demotastic Game Demo Roundup (360)

Since Fallout 3 and A Kingdom for Keflings, I've not really made a proper start on any other games. I've downloaded a played a fair few demos this week, however:

Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?
Apparently not, as I failed at £25,000. Even though my 5th Grader helper didn't get the answer either, so therefore she was as thick as me. The question was about baseball, so it isn't surprising I didn't know what the answer was. And what is a 5th Grader anyway? Round these parts, it could be considered a 7 year old.

That Stupid Dog Music Community Game
Dear god, no. This is the worst game ever made ever.

The Tower Assault Community Game
Actually pretty good. It's just a shame the trial is only 4 minutes, as it takes almost that long to get the game into full flow.

Meteos Wars
I loved Meteos on the DS, and this is the same. Only there's no stylus control, so instead of being fast, fluid and fun, it's awkward, fiddly and crap.

Power Up Forever
Yet another twin-stick top-down shooter. And not especially good either, truth be told.

Sonic Unleashed Demo (360)

Oh Sega, how I once loved thee. Your happy Sonic games with their speed and platformingness and fun. Why hast thou forsaken me with this swill?

Sonic Unleashed, like other recent Sonic games, is crap. Well, the demo is crap at least. Really crap. And there isn't even a werehog stage to play, and the werehog stages haven't exactly been top of reviewers' lists of Ace Things About Sonic Unleashed.

It's like they took all the worst bits of all the Sonic games since the Dreamcast days, and stuck them all in one game. Without any of the good bits.

There's the rubbish rail grinding bits from Sonic Adventure 2. There's the "hold right and press nothing else" bits from Sonic Rush (only with the tricks that build up your tension gauge removed). There's ryet another annoying furry. There's the doesn't-work-properly running into-the-screen nonsense of Sonic and the Secret Rings. And there's the you-can't-see-far-enough-ahead-so-die bits from the Sonic Advance titles. And hidden bottomless pits!

Seriously - it's like a compilation disc of "Sonic's Worstest Moments". I'm amazed it doesn't have Nick Hancock doing a voice-over or something.

Are Sega listening to what people are asking for in a Sonic game, and simply laughing and ignoring them? Fuck off, Sega.

Naruto: The Broken Bond Demo (360)

WHAT

This is the most disjointed, bizarre, and nonsensical game I've played since 2DO on the Saturn. There's running, platforming, puzzling, first person flying, side-on fighting, QTEs galore and tag team action. It's very, very odd. And wrongness.

Scene It! Not Ripping off Buzz at All (360)

Well, the demo of the new Scene It gives a horrifying glimpse into the world of Xbox Avatars. It also seems to cover a better range of films than the previous game, although some of the quiz rounds (the crossword one in particular) are totally baffling.

Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts Demo (360)

It's not a Banjo-Kazooie game. It's not a proper platformer, you have none of the abilities that made Banjo-Kazooie different to other platformers of it's day, and it plays like a confused mess.

Sorry, Rare, but once again you seem to have forgotten how to make games. Either you do a Banjo platformer, or you do Nuts & Bolts sans Banjo and Kazooie. What you've got here is a mishmash of illfitting game elements, in Banjo paint. You've alienated those people who were looking forward to a new Banjo game, and you've alienated those people looking for something new who weren't fans of the Banjo series. So basically, you've aimed Nuts & Bolts at nobody.

And please stop using that awful wax-graphics filter in your games! It was crap in Perfect Dark Zero, it was crap in Kameo, and it's crap here.

Tomb Raider Underground Demo (360)

I thought Tomb Raider Legend looked impressive, but this is head and shoulders above it. More than that even. It looks amazing. And it plays really well too. It's fluid, varied, well animated, and gorgeous - and that's just completing the demo.

I'd be very likely to buy it, but I can wait. The last two Tomb Raider games I've bought were at bargain prices only a few months after release, so I fully expect this to do the same.

Assorted Xbox Demos (360)

Demo catchup time again:

PDC Darts
Crap. But with amazing northern loons doing "commentary".

NBA '09
Crap. You can't even shove. And there's no BOOMSHAKALAKA.

Beat 'N Groovy
Impossible to control and crap. Why is the green "note" X? And the blue one the d-pad? What?

Crazy Mouse
Awful. Worse than crap.

Age of Booty
OK, but looks like it'll be a bit tedious. It's like a RTS only with no S.

Mega Man 9 Demo (360)

Yes, I know I bought the Wii version this morning. I just thought I'd try it and see how it fares on the 360.

Of course, it's virtually identical. I'm glad I did buy the Wii version though, as the 360's pad isn't designed for digital control - the dpad is in the wrong place, and the stick has too much dead-area. As well as that, the added XBLA bits on the menu break the retro-game illusion too.

The Giant Xbox 360 Demo Update (360)

I played quite a few Xbox 360 demos at the weekend. Some thoughts:

Mercenaries 2
I found this too hard. I admit I wasn't trying very hard, but it did seem impossibly difficult. The explosions were nice though. Except when my jeep was what was exploding. Oh, and respawning enemies in this sort of game == badness.

RocketBowl
Dire. No, it really is.

Domino Master
Meh.

Feeding Frenzy 2
Rubbish.

Fracture
Space Marinezzzzzzzzz... Yeah, the raising and lowering land was great. But this isn't Doshin the Giant, and as a result every "puzzle" that required them seemed contrived. As a shooter, it's dull as anything.

Samurai Shodown 2
Aces, but marred by the 360's pad. The stick feels wrong and the d-pad just is wrong.

Shotest Shogi
Never really understood Shogi, but soon had it sorted. Then ran out of moves. I think I'd buy it for 400 points, but at 800 it's too much for something I'd not play much.

Pure Demo (360)

I'm actually rather impressed! It looks great, controls pretty well, and was fun to play! Quite a surprise, actually. I'm not sure I want to buy it, but if I see it really cheap I'd certainly be tempted.

Xbox Live Arcade New Game Day Demos (360)

There were three new games on XBLA today, and I tried the demos of them all. Oh, what a bad week...

Shred Nebula
Rubbish shooter with wonky controls.

Pirates vs Ninjas Dodgeball
Rubbish fighting game (well, it is!) with stupid too-far-away camera.

Gin Rummy
Rubbish card game. Well, OK - it isn't rubbish, but it's not very exciting.

Weekend Catchup

Played a few things this weekend:

Beautiful Katamari (360)
Me am cry. If I play the final level on Eternal mode, and collect absolutely everything (including The King), I can only get my Katamari up to 1,450,000km. Meaning 1,500,000 is, in fact, impossible - black hole or no black hole. With this revelation, I set about redoing levels again, making more and more planets so that I'll have some more to collect next time I try. Assuming the black hole doesn't eat me.

Galaga Legions (360)
I'm getting worse at this. I can barely make it as far as Level 3 now, let alone complete it. And I still can't complete Area 1 or 2 without losing a life. In more positive news, I'm still at the top of my leaderboard, but that probably just reinforces how difficult the game is.

Geometry Wars Evolved 2 (360)
Thankfully, nobody on my "to beat" list (that's parm, SomethingWitty, That Rev Chap, Lufferov and Zomoniac) has managed to overtake me on any of the scoreboards. I had a go at improving my standings on the Sequence and Pacifism tables, but didn't.

Ticket to Ride (360)
Four games against my wife, two won each.

Mr Driller Online (360)
Attempted Russia (3000m). Managed to reach 1800m. Rubbish.

Tiger Woods '09 Demo (360)
Golf: Tee it Up has better camera controls, and the speech and between-hole golfer animations just get in the way. PGA Tour hasn't been the same since it left the Amiga, and I won't be buying this when other, better, golf games exist.

Castle Crashers Demo (360)

It's Guardian Heroes in cartoon form! Almost!

I played through to the boss (where the demo ends) and enjoyed it very much. It's very slick, very pretty, and lots of fun. But it's also 1200 points, and I'm not sure I can fork out that much for it. Yes, I realise that I paid the same for Braid, but that seemed... special somehow. Maybe another time I'll rethink it.

Assorted Xbox Demos (360)

Yes! It's the Irregular Xbox Demo Roundup Post!

Alone in the Dark
Oh my. How bad is this? From having to press a button to blink, to having to be positioned pixel-perfect in order to pick stuff up or open doors, to the stupid indestructible baddies who can only be defeated for good if you drag them to a fire. And it's too dark to see anything half the time. Awful.

SBK08
Supposedly, this is all about realism and simulation, whereas MotoGP isn't. I'd have a hard time telling the two apart. It isn't bad, but it wasn't really fun.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Seems pretty good, but needs some camera faults sorting out. I presume you can invert the look axes in the full game, and increase the sensitivity? As it stands, the "force throw" moves are mostly useless as you can't aim quickly enough. But reasonable. I would probably buy it if I were a fan of Star Wars and it was cheap.

Soul Calibur IV
Excellent, even if it does only last 45 seconds. I got up to Yoda and then it told me to buy the full game.

A bit of a catchup

I haven't posted in a few days, but I have been playing things. Just been a bit busy and tired and stuff. Anyway, here's what I've been up to this week:

Fable II Pub Games Demo (360)
Marginally entertaining collection of gambling games. If I was interested in buying Fable II (I'm not), and it was 400 points, I'd buy it. So I'm not, then.

Bionic Commando Rearmed Demo (360)
Quite good fun, although I can't get used to having no jump button. Had the same problem with the original though. Looks good, and the "This is a demo! Buy the full game!" messages are excellent. Again, if it was 400 points, I'd get it, but at 800 I don't think I'm tempted. Besides, I have no points because I spent them all on...

Beautiful Katamari (360)
...DLC for this. I've bought all the levels now, and played it quite a lot. I've mainly been trying to get the achievement for an Astronomic Katamari, but that involves not falling in the black hole too soon. And it takes 20 minutes to redo the level! Gah!

Ticket to Ride (360)
About time the next expansion for this was released, yes? Not that we're bored of Europe - far from it - it's just we want the next one now. Managed another achievement in this during the week too.

Wall-E (Demo) (360)

Oh. My. Word.

What an awful, awful game. I mean, I know licences can be bad, but this... oh my.

Assorted Xbox 360 Demos (360)

Yes, it's demo time again!

Dark Sector
You move too slow and can't jump, and the dual-wielding doesn't feel right, and the weapons you can only use for 10 seconds is stupid and the Y-axis needs inverting and the sensitivity is way off (although both these things are adjustable) and I got to a dead end and have no idea where to go next.

But. I sort of enjoyed it. It reminded me a lot of Resident Evil 4.

NFL '09
American Football = BORING.

Double D Dodgeball (Demo) (360)

I missed this out from my list earlier. And for good reason: it's crap.

Too Human (Demo) (360)

Amazingly, this didn't turn out to be pants like I was expecting. OK, so it doesn't feel like a game that has been in development for, what, 40 years? And it isn't quite as hack-everything as the previews seemed to suggest. And there's a story (about technologically advanced Nordic Gods or something) too.

Rough edges include the lack of proper camera control, The Kameo Effect on far too many surfaces, and some minor animation problems, but I had fun for the almost-an-hour the demo ran for. Slightly concerned a minor boss was repeated already in that time, but I'll certainly look out for the full game.

When it's cheap, of course!

Assorted XBLA Demos (360)

Yes indeed - it is XBLA Demo Catchup time!

1942: Joint Strike
As I've said before, shooters aren't my thing really. However, I'm one for nostalgia and this is a great looking, and playing, remake of 1942. I'm tempted to get it, except I know I'll be crap at it. I was crap at the demo as it is.

Schizoid
It's like Geometry Wars, only two player, and with no shooting. And you control both players. And it's pretty good.

Go! Go! Break Steady!
Crap. It's one part Boom Boom Rocket, one part Zuma. Only it doesn't work and just appears confused. Rubbish!

Coffeetime Crosswords
Well, the first three clues I was given all had US "English" answers. So I deleted it.

Golf: Tee It Up!
Simple, normal (mostly) golf with standard press-A-thrice swinging and added limited aftertouch. It's nothing special, but it's perfectly playable. This was the only one of today's demos I actually bought - and then proceeded to play for most of the evening. Well worth a (get ready for it...) shot. Badum-tish.

Assorted XBLA Demos (360)

I tried some more demos today, all of XBLA games I'd downloaded over the last few weeks.

Battlezone
Looks amazing, but the demo is only five seconds long. So I'm not buying it as there's no way that gives any sort of representation of actual game.

Wits and Wagers
A quiz game where your answer is largely irrelevant? And only 700 questions? I say no to you, sir.

Rocky and Bullwinkle
It's Wario Ware, only in Rocky and Bullwinkle costumes. It was OK, but very rough around the edges. The drawn-for-the-game art of Rocky and Bullwinkle is awful, especially when compared to the clips of the cartoon. Also, since we're not from the US, we don't care about Rocky and Bullwinkle anyway.

Assorted Xbox 360 Demos (360)

Caught up on a few of these today. Thoughts as follows!

Don King's Prizefighter
I didn't like Fight Night 3. It was overrated, and not nearly as impressive as everyone (EA especially, unsurprisingly) suggested. But this... is worse. The best thing was the FIFA-esque nonsensical commentary. Par examplé: "Calzaghe goes for the face again!" as I (Calzaghe) completely fail to grasp the controls and am being pummelled without getting a single hit in. "Calzaghe delivers a devastating right hook!" as I block my chest only to get a left fist to my nose. Amaze!

Top Spin 3
They've changed the controls and now I can't play it. Next!

Soul Calibur (XBLA)
It's great, of course, but I'm hoping the full version isn't this easy. Aside from getting my health bar down to half on the first round of the first fight (as I worked out what button did what), I managed to perfect everyone. I'm sure the DC version wasn't like this.

Lego Indiana Jones Demo (360)

It's good, but it just doesn't feel quite as good as Lego Star Wars did. I think the lack of a gun is a big issue, as the whip is too slow and inaccurate, and punching requires you to get too close. I did find a crossbow near the end of the demo level, but it only seemed to allow two shots before it vanished.

And it's far too easy to fall of cliffs. Grr.

Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword Demo (DS)

That's right - a DS demo! The new Nintendo Channel on the Wii allows the download of DS game demos, which is pretty ace. Well, except I had all the games already. Apart from this one!

And it's pretty good. It seems very similar in style to the Ninja Gaiden II demo on the 360 I played last week, only you do everything with the stylus. And it works better than you'd expect too. I was quite impressed, although I don't think I'll be buying it.

Assorted Xbox 360 Demos (360)

Caught up a bit tonight with some of the recent demos on the 360's mrketplace.

Frogger 2
No. No no no. It's like a horrible cute reimagining of Frogger, designed by a three year old. It's horrible. And why on earth are there rotate button? And a bloody UFO?! And! The most irritating music and sound effect combo ever (especially when collecting lots of coins in one go - yes coins: why the hell does a frog need coins?). It's all just wrongness.

Commando 3
Actually... it isn't bad. It isn't close enough to the original for my brain to let it in as a sequel, but as a mindless scrolly shooter in the same sort of vein as the original, then it's more than acceptable.

Enemy Territory: Quake Wars
Space marines = yawn. Someone yelling "I'm a medic!" every three seconds = annoying. ET:QW = crap.

Crash Time
Take the original 3DO version of Need for Speed (even the visuals are the same), add a few bits from Chase HQ and Burnout, splash it with RTL branding and awful voice "acting", and you get what is probably the worst game I've ever played. Ever. Well, one of them. It's not even bad in a Lady Cruncher-style bad way - it's just shit.

Civilisation Revolution Demo (360)

I was really hoping this was going to be rubbish. Because I tend to get hooked on Civ games and since I don't play computer games any more I thought I was safe...

But, as I feared, my "one quick go" lasted over an hour and I ended up running out of turns in the demo. So it has to go on my "want" list. I blame The Rev. It's all his fault.

Battlefield: Bad Company Demo (360)

As I've said before, I don't like soldier games. Medal of Honour and Call of Duty both bore me to tears. Every other soldier game I've played since, well, Cannon Fodder I suppose, has been "meh" to me.

So imagine my surprise when I found this to be just as tedious.

OK, so it's pretty and funny and the way you can blow holes in walls is nice, but it's the whole "being a soldier" thing I don't like about games like this. And in this particular game, the way LT is accelerate whereas in every other game ever made ever, RT is, just upsets me.

Aces of the Galaxy Demo (360)

This was on XBLA this week. It's crap.

Roogoo Demo (360)

Rubbish. I don't know what else to say.

OK, cute and rubbish.

Ninja Gaiden II Demo (360)

It was very easy and felt like Kung Fu Panda only with more gore. I've been told the full version is harder and more varied, but if the demo doesn't win me over I'm not likely to buy the full game.

Mind you, I've done it before and everything worked out for the best...

Assorted Xbox 360 Demos (360)

A big pile of them had accumulated on my 360's hard drive, so I went through and had a play of them all...

Iron Man
Rubbish. Looks like a PS2 game when you're up close to anything. And objects are all out of proportion - why is Iron Man almost as big as a helicopter, but ordinary doors on buildings are twice his height? And why do baddies appear out of nothingness? And Stark's "witty" one-liners started to grate after twelve seconds. And it's repetitive. And rubbish. And made by Sega. F**K YOU, SEGA.

Kung Fu Panda
Just no. It's the "hammer X game". Tedious. "Collect these!", "and these!", "and these!". "And don't forget to collect these!". And telling you how to do every action five times even after you've already worked it out for yourself is stupid. It's like a crap N64 game, only prettier.

Warlords
Probably my most favourite 4-player game on the Atari 2600. Yeah, I realise that's probably not hard. But I used to love it. This version is OK, but it really needs a paddle controller.

Penny Arcade Whatever The Long Title Is
Actually pretty good! It's a JRPG wrapped up in Penny Arcade themed point-and-click (sort of) clothes. A bit. Not buying it though - not until they a) reduce the price, and b) fix the DRM issues of Live (which they're doing in June, supposedly).

This Week's Roundup (360/Wii)

Another busy week (it was my birthday!) so I've got a bit of catching up to do.

Wii Fit (Wii)
Haven't played this much since Tuesday, but did fit in a couple of sessions in the week. Mainly just played step and ski jump, though.

Link's Crossbow Training (Wii)
Excellent! I got this for my birthday, which was pretty amazing in itself since it's impossible to buy pretty much everywhere. It's pretty simplistic (it is basically "just" a lightgun game) but is brilliantly well done and the "Wii Zapper", despite being a bit of a faff to assemble, works really well. I've completed it already, but that's not really the point, so I'm not going to consider it finished just yet. I think you have to get a piece of Triforce on every level? Anyway, I have at least a Silver on every level bar one, with a couple of Golds and a Platinum too.

Sega Superstars Tennis (Wii)
In two-player mode. It's pretty good fun, actually, although NiGHTS is rubbish (as I found out having picked him and then losing without scoring a single point). I need to unlock more minigames too, as none of the ones currently available are particularly good.

Race Driver GRID Demo (360)
Played this today. First impressions are: it's very quick, the damage models are amazing, and it looks fantastic. But it's too hard. I do like the rewind facility though.

Some Dragonball Z Thing Demo (360)
It looks great. But I'm not into Dragonball Z and I had no idea what I was doing. Not that it seemed to matter, as the demo is really easy and I completed both two levels with no problems at all simply by mashing buttons.

Grand Theft Auto IV (360)
And this is what I've played most this week. I'm now around 23 or 24 hours in, and the mission I've most recently completed is the one where you save Roman from the Russians. Again. I've spent a while taking Roman and Little Jacob out, completed a couple more missions (and my first race) for Brucie, and completed the first task for the paper company. Oh, and a job for Packie and another for the policeman guy who Niko seemed to know well but it was the first time I'd come across him. Very odd. I still have an outstanding mission for Dwayne but it's too hard.

On Friday night I played online for the first time. First up was a game of Deathmatch with random people, and I'm just pleased I didn't come last. After that, it was Turf War which I didn't really like very much. Then, someone on my friends list invited me to a co-op game and we went and completed the three co-op missions together, which was pretty good.

GTA Glitch Watch
This morning, as I left my room in the flat in South Bohan, I managed to run up the flight of stairs before the stairs had been drawn-in. Very odd.

Also, every time I load the game, the door leading out of the flat flashes white briefly. Also very odd.

Assorted PSP Demos (PSP)

Downloaded some more PSP demos today and had a play. Hurrah for free things!

Hot Shots Golf 2
Or Minna no Golf 2, or whatever the English name is. Lovely! Only three holes, and I had to guess the controls, but it's cute and colourful and plays just like those other golf games that I like. You know the ones - ones that aren't crap.

Ape Escape 2
Erm. Monkeys. And a terrible, awful, rubbish camera. And it uses the "analogue" nub, so is instantly rubbish. Tch, eh?

SOCOM Firezzzzzyawn
Guh. Can you aim without moving? Can you move without getting shot? Is it any good? The answers to these questions, and more, is "no".

Thing With A Cat And A Frog And A Rabbit In
No idea. All in Japanese. Looks cute, haven't a clue what to do. Lots of text. Amazing!

Misc PSP Demos (Demo) (PSP)

With my new-found ability to download game demos to my PSP, I put a load on to play today.

Space Invaders Extreme
Excellent! It's exactly what the title suggests - Space Invaders, only Extreme! It's a lot like the DS Space Invaders game from a couple of years ago, but with more power-ups and a combo system. And bonus levels. Apparently there's a DS version of this PSP title too, which is supposedly even better.

LocoRoco
Several demos, in fact. I really can't wait for the full version to arrive, as it really is quite amazing.

Ridge Racer
Yawn. Ridge Racer is, and always has been, pretty dull. And this version is no exception. Give me Outrun 2006 any day.

Some strange Japanese thing
No idea what it's called, but it's a platformer where you are a boy with a grapple hook, and you grapple a fish and then have to grapple across a river and I couldn't do it and drowned a lot. Hm.

LocoRoco (Demo) (PSP)

I have the game on order, but no-one told me you could download demos for the PSP! So I did!

It's great, as I expected, and possibly the most cute thing ever created. The way your blob sings along with the music is brilliant, and even better is when you split him up into several blobs, they all sing - some singing different parts of the song! OMFG!

But, uh, the game. It's ACES! Although my sticky R button is a bit of an issue. And not knowing what the hell I needed to do didn't help. But it's rolly tilty cutey fun. Hurrah!

TiQal (Demo) (360)

This is today's XBLA offering. Here's my in-depth review:

Meh.

Civilization IV (Demo) (Mac)

I didn't mean to play it, as I was using it to test my graphics card. But I ended up "testing" for 45 minutes - which is 100 turns and the full duration of the demo. Oops.

Brain Challenge (Demo) (360)

This is such a rip-off of Big Brain Academy! So much so, it was actually quite embarrassing to play! It's also not actually very good, as the not-a-pointer controls hamper the game more than I was expecting.

Bliss Island (Demo) (360)

It's a series of strangle games that don't appear to tie together at all. And it's very odd. Not bad-odd, just odd-odd. I'm not sure if I want it, as I think it's too varied and not focussed enough, if that makes sense.

The "pool" type game is excellent, though.

Rocketmen: Axis of Evil (Demo) (360)

Nasty horrid rubbish game. It's like Smash TV but crap and with a useless fixed-scrolling camera that alternately holds you up or pushes you too fast for no reason. And awful comic cut-scenes and text that doesn't fit in speech bubbles and button mashing where it isn't necessary.

Urgh. Badness.

XNA Creators Club Demos (Demo) (360)

A few games appeared on this new section of XBLA this week. I downloaded them all and played each for a bit this evening.

Culture:
Simple minigame with two WTF minigames.

Jellycar:
Good idea, far too hard to control.

Little Gamers:
Looks nice, plays like crap.

ProximityHD:
Decent multiplayer puzzley strategy game.

Rocketball:
Awful.

The Dishwasher:
Excellent, although loading after every screen? WHAT

TriLinea:
Meh.

Frontlines: Fuel of War (Demo) (360)

Another week, another dull soldier game. This one tries to be different by having the concept of a "front line" (hence the name), which you push forward by taking ground, and lose by, well, having ground taken back.

Sadly, this doesn't really mean a lot, as you still have your (yawn) same types of unit - sniper, gunner, etc. - as every other dull and boring soldier game, and it plays much the same as the others.

It looks OK, although the texture and shadow draw-in is rubbish.

Overall verdict: Meh.

Poker Smash (Demo) (360)

Meh.

Turning Point: Fall of Liberty (Demo) (360)

What a pile of crap.

Turok (Demo) (360)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHA.

What a rubbish game.

Metal Slug 3 (Demo) (360)

On one hand, it's Metal Slug 3. On the other had, it has this horrific graphics filter on and slowdown. But it's Metal Slug 3.

Decisions, decisions...

Assorted Xbox 360 Demos (Demo) (360)

And today's 360 demos? This pair of thingies:

Kane and Lynch: Dead Men
Hmm. It's a squad-based shooter (which I don't like), but you play as the bad guys (which I do like), but it's a bit clunky and they didn't really choose the best location to show off the graphics (dull grey interiors). Nice that you can shoot chunks out of the walls though. Overall? Not my bag (baby).

Burnout Paradise
It's Test Drive Unlimited crossed with Burnout. The map looks huuuuuuge, and it's all very pretty. And fast! But there's that annoying EA DJ idiot talking all over the game (which I hope you can turn off). There's plenty of scope for make-your-own-fun and exploration though. I was actually pleasantly surprised!

Sensible World of Soccer (Demo) (360)

After a false start earlier in the week, it finally made it onto XBLA in (seemingly) full working order today. And I think I may just have to buy it, as it's exactly how I remembered.

Well, not exactly. It plays the same, of course, but there's now "pitch damage", where mud shows through from tackles and stuff. And the spinning replay "R" is a different font. But they don't matter! It's SWOS! Amazing!

Assorted Xbox 360 Demos (360)

Tried out today's Arcade offerings...

Gripshift:
Um. Am I missing something, or is this just some crap collectathon? In a car?

Arkadian Warriors:
Like Gauntlet. Sort of. With RPG elements. Seemed quite good, actually. Reminded me of Angband for some reason.

Assorted Xbox 360 Demos (360)

Did a bit of catching up with the last few weeks' XBLA releases.

Screwjumper:
NO.

Shrek 'n' Roll:
NO.

Undertow:
NO.

Asteriods:
Not bad, but it just doesn't feel right in these days of twin-stick shooters like Geometry Wars.

Some XBLA Demos (360)

Namely, Switchball and Word Puzzle.

Switchball:
Well, it's no Marble Blast. Seems competent enough, but suffers from three things: 1) screen tearing, 2) it's slooooow, and 3) CRATE PUZZLES. The latter of these is unforgivable, so I won't be buying it.

Word Puzzle:
Timed wordsearches? NO.

Assorted 360 Demos (360)

Four game demos tested today. Three were new on the downloads and the other has been there a while but I haven't played it until now. Anyway - the games!

Battlestar Galactica:
Crap. It's basically the same game as Wing Commander Arena, which was also crap (and by the same people) with slightly different graphics. Rubbish.

Guitar Hero III:
AMAZING. But then, that was obvious, yes?

Exit:
Would be great if it ran at least three times faster than it does. What idiot thought that making a puzzle (or rather, "pazzle", as the dashboard describes it) game which is against the clock run at a snail's pace would be a good idea? Stupid.

Virtua Fighter 5:
Ooooh! Looks fantastic, plays well, just... I don't know. I've not really played a 3D fighter I've really enjoyed since Soul Calibur 2, and although this seems excellent, I'm not sure I want to bother with it.

Speedball 2 (Demo) (360)

I always loved Speedball 2. Sadly, I do not love this. I don't know why, as it seems to be pretty much the same game. It plays faster than I recall, and it's harder to punch the other team members to the ground, but I can't see how I've gone from liking it so much to not really ever wanting to play it ever again. Oh well.

Puzzle Quest (Demo) (360)

I really enjoyed Puzzle Quest on the DS, but part of what made it so great was the DS itself. It was portable, easy to turn on for just a quest or two, and had touch control which makes a lot of sense with this game.

The XBLA version isn't bad. It can't be - it's almost exa