Virtua Fighter 2 (PSP): COMPLETED!

Polygone.

Sort of prompted by the Virtua Fighter article in the current issue of Retro Gamer, when I opened up Mega Drive Collection for the PSP – on my Vita – I decided to play this.

It’s crap.

No, it’s really pretty awful. The animation is terrible, the controls are unresponsive, and the implementation of the game on the Vita/PSP is woeful, with horrendous slowdown and sound syncing issues.

It looks nice. But then everything moves and you wonder what the hell Sega were thinking when they thought the Mega Drive was a good fit for a Virtua Fighter 2 port. It didn’t have the oomph to push enough polygons, so they rendered the animation frames with sprites instead. Leaving a poorly animated version of the game and awful sprites that are laughable beside Street Fighter II or even Eternal Champions.

I completed it as Jacky, by the way.

Mighty Gunvolt Burst (Switch): COMPLETED!

The impression that I get.

A couple of years ago, there was a game called Mighty Gunvolt. It was a sort of 8bit demake of Azure Striker Gunvolt, the Mega Man-inspired game that it came free with. It was great. Short, but great. Recently, they made this sequel – Mighty Gunvolt Burst.

Still 8bit in style, but boasting more levels and a really deep customisable weapon and ability system, it improves on the original in almost every way.

As you play, you find extra moves and modifications for your weapons. You can use them in any combination, but each costs points to do so. You have the situation where you might need to decide if you’re prepared to have slower, less powerful shots so you’re able to double jump. Or maybe really powerful shots that are homing, but in order to pay for it you have to decrease your defence. You can earn more points, but invariably you never have quite enough for your perfect loadout!

There are two characters to play as: Gunvolt, from the original game, and Beck, from Mighty No.9. Gunvolt has fewer weapon customisation options than Beck, but Beck doesn’t have a multiple jump or any special weapons. I’ve completed the game as both now, and prefer Gunvolt.

Mighty Gunvolt Burst is still quite a short game, but there’s replay value (you have to finish each level at least three times as each character in order to unlock everything) and it’s substantially bigger than Mighty Gunvolt was. I’ve put around 7 hours into it so far, whereas I’d nearly 100%ed the first game in just two.

I’m now really looking forward to the Azure Striker Gunvolt and Gunvolt 2 double pack that’s supposedly coming to the Switch next month. I’ve played the original, of course, but not any of the DLC and for some reason never picked up the sequel. I definitely will be now!

Plantera DX (Switch): COMPLETED!

Buying the farm.

At least, I’m classing Plantera DX as completed. I’m at the point now, at around level 155 or so, that there are diminishing returns. It takes more than a whole day’s play (or leave it for that long to generate money) to get enough cash to either expand the farm or buy the next multiplier upgrade. Doing so barely speeds up the money generation, yet the next expansion or upgrade is even more expensive.

What I’m saying, is, that upgrades are getting further away at a faster rate than money generation is speeding up.

I was going to stop when I had all the achievements, but they’re broken so I can’t. For example, one is to plant 100 trees in total. Not at the same time (the devs have specifically stated that) which is just as well as I’d have to be on level 1000 or something for that to be possible, just in total. You can bin and re-plant trees. So I did that. In one play session, I planted more than 200 trees. No achievement. I’ve planted over 400 in total, but supposedly only need 100. The same goes for bushes, plants and animals – I’ve gone way over 100, but no achievement.

I do have everything unlocked, though, so there’s that. I’m probably still going to play it a bit more too. But as far as I’m concerned, it’s done. Complete.

Nano Assault EX (3DS): COMPLETED!

Viral.

I was sure I’d played and completed Nano Assault EX long ago, but no. I saw it on my home screen when moving stuff around and decided to have a look at it, and then realised I’d not played it.

It was probably one of the games in that excellent Nintendo Humble Bundle from a while back.

Anyway, over a couple of days I completed it. Like the Wii U version (which is actually different, much to my surprise) it’s pretty short, but it’s a lot of fun and looks incredible. With the 3D on full, the graphics are so impressive that I’m baffled how the 3DS manages them.

It’s actually a bit longer than the Wii U version too. I think that only had four “areas” of four levels each, whereas this has six or seven areas with four or more levels in each. I think it’s quite a bit easier too, but since I’m terrible at shooters, I’m not complaining.

I would say, however, that I can’t recommend Nano Assault EX anywhere near as much if you don’t have a New 3DS, or at the very least a Circle Pad Pro on a normal 3DS. That C stick is essential for playing it properly, as it’s very much a twin-stick shooter.

Sam & Max: The Devil’s Playhouse – Episode 1 (PS3): COMPLETED!

The Penal Zone. No, not that one.

Since Minecraft: Story Mode was disappointingly adventure game free, I was in the mood to play a proper one. Luckily, I picked up the whole series of Sam & Max: The Devil’s Playhouse some time ago, so it was all there ready to go.

And it’s so much better than the other game. There are actual puzzles. People to properly talk to. Items to find, combine, use and so on. And no QTEs or combat! Excellent.

In this series, which continues on pretty much directly from the previous one (good lord – was that really nearly six years ago?!), Max has gained psychic powers, each enabled by a Toy of Power. There’s one to let him see the future – just enough to hint at a solution to something but not necessarily solve it – and one to teleport to any telephone he has the number for. It makes for some clever and unusual puzzle solutions, not least the one where you have to get rid of a gorilla from outside a building.

As before, it’s pretty funny too. Even Sam just slapping Max out of the way all the time never gets old.

SteamWorld Heist: The Outsider (3DS): COMPLETED!

Let’s go outside. Er.

A short one, this! SteamWorld Heist’s DLC, The Outsider, was on offer this week and somehow I’d not previously bought it. I righted a wrong and did that, and then played through and completed it.

It’s not a separate story as such, more an expansion. There’s a new character (The Outsider, of course), once you’ve repaired him, and then five or six new missions strewn across the map. To go with these there’s a new selection of hats to find and a handful of new weapons and stuff.

One of the levels is an interesting three way fight between yourselves, the Queen’s guard, and the Vectron forces. You can of course allow both other sides to pretty much eradicate each other, then move in to mop up. So I did that.

Short, but well worth digging the game out for again!

Minecraft: Story Mode – Episode 8 (PS4): COMPLETED!

And finally.

Oh look. It’s The Hunger Games Episode. Which meant more QTEs. All the QTEs. So many QTEs.

Something which has bothered me with the final four episodes of the series, is the lack of “danger”. The huge, deadly, horrible witherstorm thing was clearly a threat of epic proportions, but since then, what have we had? A disgruntled ex-friend of Lukas who wanted a chicken. A computer that literally just needed unplugging. A woman who liked cats and wears pumpkins. And here, a man and a woman who rig some you-never-really-die olympics. Really?

It is all done. I can’t say I really disliked the series, but it’s probably the weakest Telltale Games title I’ve played. Maybe if I was into Minecraft, the references would elevate it a bit to make up for the lack of gameplay and adventure. Maybe it’s aimed at kids, but then why be a PEGI 12? It has put me off playing The Walking Dead now though, because I have no affinity for that series either.

Luckily, I do have a series of Sam & Max still unplayed, so I’ll probably do that instead.

Kamiko (Switch): COMPLETED!

Save keys to open doors.

I’m a big fan of Fairune, that tiny adventure game for the 3DS with no proper combat and a very odd way of levelling up. Kamiko is by the same developer, and so I was interested as sound as I realised this.

And it’s great. Short, but great. You move through four small levels, opening doors and making pathways appear by pressing buttons or finding and carrying keys. Not dissimilar to Fairune, but the big change is in the combat. Whereas in Fairune you just bump into baddies, here you actually have to swipe your sword or loose your arrows or whatever.

kamiko

There are also Titan Souls-esque (but much easier to beat) bosses at the end of each level.

And that’s it. It cost me 30p, I’ve completed it as Sword Person, and I’m halfway through a run as Bow Person.

Minecraft: Story Mode – Episode 7 (PS4): COMPLETED!

I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.

Remember puzzles? I remember puzzles. I remember when adventure games had puzzles. I miss puzzled in adventure games. I’ve lamented this already on the previous episodes.

Episode 7’s story was a tale as old as time itself. Person builds computer, computer takes over the world, creator needs to stop it. Which mainly involved even more QTEs, and one section where there might be a puzzle only – yet again – you’re told how to solve it before you get a chance to attempt it yourself.

I’m repeating myself, I know.

Still, it was reasonably enjoyable. Just one more episode and then I’ll be done with the series. Phew, eh?

Minecraft: Story Mode – Episode 6 (PS4): COMPLETED!

Whodunnit? Who cares.

As this chapter opened with possibly the longest string of QTEs so far in the series, I wasn’t looking forward to it. Then we entered a spooky old mansion and it was the beginning of a murder mystery, and I thought – actually, this is sort of cool.

Then I realised the other visitors to the mansion were real life “Youtubers”. Good grief.

I get that the game isn’t aimed at me. I don’t know who these people are and in a way it doesn’t matter, but it irked me so much that they were in it. Thankfully, some of them were killed off. Sadly, some were not.

Their horrible voices. Do they put them on? Is it a requirement for being on Youtube? Surely they don’t sound like that in real life? How the hell do people watch them without taking a drill bit to their eardrums? Kids today, eh? I suppose the horror added to the atmosphere so there’s that at least.

One thing I must say here, though, is that although the voices are horrible, the actual voice acting itself is surprisingly good.

Anyway. Once more there were no puzzles. At some point it looked like you might need to think for yourself and decide to make a ladder, but then the game just tells you to make one anyway. Why? In another bit, you have to get a cat off a chest. You’re literally told to make a fishing rod (and shown how) and told to catch a fish (and told where to get one). It might as well do it for you.

Oh, and my daughter figured out who the bad guy was waaaaay before it was revealed.

That’s that done now. Two episodes left.

Minecraft: Story Mode – Episode 5 (PS4): COMPLETED!

Castles in the sky.

Well, this episode improved on the previous one somewhat. Sure, it was more QTEs and terrible fighting, but the story (a mostly standalone one, rather than a continuation of the previous one) was OK. It was funnier than the other episodes too, which helped.

The chicken was great, and although cliché I did like the Fight Club references. Not sure why Ivor has gone from Bringer of Evil to the comedy character though.

Anyway, with that done the setup for the next (and presumably further) episodes appears to be Sliders. As in the TV show, rather than little hamburgers.

Minecraft: Story Mode – Episode 4 (PS4): COMPLETED!

Bacon, anyone?

Meh. This episode was pretty boring. Some puzzles that weren’t (again, you’re told how to complete them, or they’re blatantly obvious). Far too many QTEs, including what would have been an “epic finale” only it was full of QTEs.

Am I missing something? Am I just making the dialogue choices in the game which completely avoid all of the adventure and puzzle sections? Have I put it on “I’ve never played a video game before help me mummy” mode in the options?

I’m also confused as to why the story ended when there are four more episodes left to go. On the plus side, there are only four more episodes to go.

Minecraft: Story Mode – Episode 3 (PS4): COMPLETED!

Dropping the F-Bomb

Things should be getting good now, right? I mean, there are Endermen (nope, no idea) and a massive room made of wool. And we’re making a giant bomb (hilariously referred to as an “F-Bomb”)! And collect five pink blocks that aren’t even hidden in a room. Puzzles? Nope. Interaction? Barely. QTEs? Oh hell yes!

So this is how it’s going to be. I can’t really complain, as that’s just how some games are. It isn’t a bad thing. But I was expecting an adventure game. All of the choices I’ve made so far have had very little impact either. I said something that made Lukas really angry, when presumably one of the other options didn’t. In the next conversation with him no more than two minutes later, he was fine again. What was the point?

Plot-wise, I found Soren, we escaped from his house in “The End” (no idea what relevance that location name has either), then I made a bomb and blew up the Wither. Only, of course, it isn’t dead because this was only the 3rd episode and there are five more.

Am I enjoying it? Sort of. Is it what I wanted? No. What I expected? No. What I’d have bought knowing what it was like? No. Hmm.

Minecraft: Story Mode – Episode 2 (PS4): COMPLETED!

Cutie E.

Did things get better in Episode 2? Erm, no. Not really. More terrible combat, some out-of-the-blue QTEs, and not a single puzzle. Unless you class “click on everything” a puzzle. And if you do that, you’re an idiot.

Jesse went with Olivia to find Ellegaard or something. I had to click on everything outside of her “dome”, which opened her “dome”. Then I just clicked on what I was told to click on. Then we ran away, with some more QTEs. And then you go somewhere else, find Ivor, fight him and it’s the end of the episode.

This really isn’t up there with previous Telltale Games games, for sure.

Minecraft: Story Mode – Episode 1 (PS4): COMPLETED!

Bland crafted.

Minecraft: Story Mode is another of those games I bought in a PSN sale at some forgotten point in the past. Which I then played for half an hour and then didn’t again. But now I did. Done. Have did.

Unlike most 12 year olds, I have no interest in Minecraft. Certainly, I’ve played it to a tiny degree, but it’s all too blocky and tedious for me to find any real fun it it. Aside from dropping TNT all over the place, of course. As a result, I came to this game solely from enjoying Telltale’s other adventure games, hoping my lack of Minecraft knowledge wouldn’t hinder me.

In this first episode, it hasn’t, really. There’s a lot of “lore”, but it’s mostly irrelevant to how you actually play. You have to craft stuff, but you’re literally told how, and essentially given all the ingredients. Perhaps you have to solve a puzzle to get something, but that’s it. So far, those puzzles haven’t been any more difficult than “flip this switch”, so perhaps “puzzle” isn’t the right word.

Unlike most other Telltale adventures, there’s some combat. This combat is little more than a QTE, however, but then there’s a million other QTEs that appear too. In fact, there are more QTEs that actual puzzle interaction, so the game feels more Dragon’s Lair and less Sam & Max. Not a good thing, in my opinion.

Still, there’s a good story to follow, right? Um. Maybe? It’s that lore issue. Some stuff about a witherstorm and traveling through “the Nether” and honestly? I have no idea. There are choices to be made with the characters but they don’t seem to make a lot of difference to how things play out.

Hopefully things will improve in later episodes. This one did seem to just be the setup – bad guy unleashes really bad thing, historical heroes need to be found, some temple “base” of said heroes is reached, and so on. Thing is, the game has been a combination of too-simple puzzles and too-rubbish QTEs so far, and I can’t really see them changing the mechanics.