And, like Rampart, it’s an excellent conversion even on a very small screen. I did get stuck on Level 14 though – I had a pocket full of keys (© The Rock) but had to pick up another to progress. But I couldn’t. Thankfully, the old hang-around-for-a-few-minutes trick worked and the walls all turned to exits.

And? It is, as it always was, ace. I remember I was on holiday with a friend one summer and we walked three miles to the nearest arcade just to play this. It loses a little with just one player, but still plays fantastically (even on a Game Boy Micro’s screen!). I managed to win five “levels”, before being unable to finish the sixth.

Or so I thought. It turns out that in the process of simply porting the original Megadrive Sonic game to the GBA, Sega couldn’t help but rape my childhood memories by making it worse than those shoddy “fan-made” Flash-based Sonic games. It has more issues than a journal library. Par example:

1) You only get to see around 60% of the screen. The edges have been trimmed to fit the GBA. Not a huge issue if you know the layout of the levels off by heart (like me), but it means far too many leaps-of-faith and running-off-the-edge-of-things otherwise.

2) Horrific slowdown. Even when the screen isn’t busy, the game will slow down for seemingly no reason.

3) Inconsistent scroll speeds. Scrolling up and down is twice as quick as left and right. Or perhaps it’s just Sonic moves twice as quick when jumping? Either way, he doesn’t control like Sonic any more.

4) Things don’t draw in. You know the edges of the platforms in Green Hill that crumble when you stand on them? Sometimes they’re not there. But you can stand on them, and they crumble under you, but you can only see them as they crumble. The swinging platform on Green Hill Act 2 vanished while I was standing on it too.

5) Things simply aren’t there. You know the baddie in the air when you fly up into all those rings after the tunnel bit on Green Hill Act 1? The one you generally rebound off and aim back left to get more of the rings? Gone. Not just “not drawn in” – he’s gone.

6) The sound effects are broken. Some of them simply aren’t there. Others sound out of tune. Some sound completely wrong.

7) The music is awful. It’s like some 12 year old has “rerecorded” the original tracks using a dodgy midi sequencer.

The special stages are impossible. They run three times faster than the rest of the game. And no, it isn’t just 50 vs 60Hz issues – they’re WAY faster. And there’s the smaller viewport to contend with too.

Basically: Fuck off, Sega.

As expected of the final world, many of the levels sort of repeated some of the puzzles and routines of previous levels, although obviously mixed up a bit. Thankfully, there was no SuckySuck(TM) bit either. The end boss, however, did do the usual trick of dying, only to change form and regain all his energy – twice. I wasn’t too bothered though, as each form was very different, none were especially hard, and if you died (and I did three or four times) you didn’t have to start from the beginning again. And you healed fully after each transformation too, making it fair. Hurrah, eh?

And then it was all over. I killed his final form, rescued someone who appeared to be my dad (a previous starfish “hero”, it seems), and banished the boss to a pot with a face on. However, my clam friend accidentally dropped the pot during the end of game sequence and let him out again. Tch.

Overall then, it was a great little platformer. It had a few irritations, e.g lots of similar sections – the dragon flying, balloon riding, fish surfing, and koala jumping bits especially – were reused a lot, albeit differently each time. Also, some of the puzzles were impossible to solve due to being in Japanese, but luckily trial-and-error won through. That’s not really the game’s fault, obviously, but why haven’t Nintendo released any of the Stafi series (of which there are four games) over in the UK? Now I just need to find copies of 1 and 3 in the set, and play through 4 on the DS!

I’ve got a few more power-ups now too – a double jump (finally!), and a more powerful, and faster, dash-spin-kill attack thing. Of course, the game fights back to negate some of these when it can with stronger water currents, wind, and higher platforms. As is the way with platformers!

World 10 wasn’t the final world either, so my Platform Game Senses would dictate that World 12 would be the next likely candidate, but World 11 (which I’ve reached but not started) is a giant dark castle, seemingly set in space. Double whammy! Pretty much has to be the final world now, yes?

I was under the impression (although I don’t know where I got this idea from) that there are six worlds. Well, World Six is too happy and bouncy to be the last level. One of the Rules of Platform Games is that the final level/world/area is a castle, an enemy base, or set in space. Or a combination of them all – not some sort of garden with smiling flowers. Or something.

Progressed past World 4, killing the Ice/Fire Dragon boss at the end that was somewhat heat bi-polar, and now I’m into Tree Tops World (World 5). Yes, a starfish in the trees, which are conveniently full of water and stuff. I’ve gained the ability to double-jump now too.

I did have a few bizarre “smack four things in order” puzzles to contend with, and no idea which order to smack them. Managed two by trial and error, and my wife solved the third one for me.

Like the previous bosses, it was pretty easy, and I was soon onto World 4, which is Ice World. So lots of falling ice spikes and slippy floors.

I’m up to 3-3 now, and I seem to be hopping around the back of a giant turtle. You know, as you do.

It’s a cute platformer with some puzzley elements and collection, and many of the levels involve some sort of quest.

So far, I’m on level 2-2, having just collected some furniture for a fish. Including a chair. For a fish.

After all that, I had the books required, and the three souls it was suggested I equip (Flame Armour, Succabus, and Giant Bat – all traits of Dracula, if you think about it…), so I set them all up and went after Graham again. He was even easier to kill than last time! Not least because the Succabus soul gives you HP each time you get a hit in. Oh, and I was on Level 39 instead of 32 or something too.

Then a thing happened that I won’t say as it’s a spoiler, and then instead of the game being over, I could carry on playing. Got another soul and some better armour from the room just past Graham, then set off to the black mist door (with the floating garden baddies now complete walkovers – even the huge Devil which previously took a billion hits), where I had to fight Julius. He wasn’t easy at all, as it turned out, and I used just about all my potions on him. Managed it though, then retreated back to Hammer to get more supplies, saved my game, then stepped into the Quantum Leap acceleratorwarp to Chaos and vanished.

Soma awoke to find himself trapped in the pastin a twisted version of the castle, where going from one room to another seemed to warp him around the various areas I’d previously been through. It almost became a SuckySuck(TM) bit, as there were loads of previous bosses, but since they’re all really weak now, or I could just skip them (flying bat powaz FTW), I won’t complain.

Then Chaos came. And he was easy. Like, realy easy. OK – not as easy as Dracula at the end of Harmony of Dissonance, but still pretty simple to beat. And the game was over – properly this time, with the happy ending and everything!

Instead, I had to kill the two hands and two eyes of a, uh, thing. Balgone? Something like that anyway. It was actually pretty easy once I’d sussed the fact you could jump on the hands as long as they weren’t swiping.

Then I got a soul to turn me into a bat, opening up more areas of the map. Went and got all the small areas I’d previously been unable to get to done first, before moving on to a new area with some really hard baddies in (flying things with pitchforks, succabuses, harder versions of previous bosses, etc.) and found a save point in a tower. Then, found another boss – Graham.

He did Dracula’s classic “warp then shoot fireballs” attack at first, and then morphed into a huge thing with grabby hands and a storm cloud thing. He seemed impossible, until I realised you could tell which hand was going to grab at you, so you got a chance to dodge. So I killed him, and then the credits came up and the game was complete!

So why no “COMPLETED!” in the title of this post? Because I think the game is lying. The end boss seemed too easy (although, that was also the case with Harmony of Dissonace), but also I’m only at 86% of the castle complete, there’s that swirly black door thing to get past yet, and the ending didn’t seem quite “right”. Also, it didn’t unlock any other modes, unlike every other recent Castlevania game does. So there’s more, kiddies!

Found lots of new baddies, souls, weapons (I now have an ice sword which is way more powerful than the hrunting), and a ring. Did get a bit stuck though, but eventually found my way into a new area with loads of beam skeletons and stuff.

And then, I found not one, but two boss doors. Neither of which had a boss behind them, instead having a difficult room each and a weapon and armour at the end of each. Did those, and levelled up a bit more. I’m now on Level 28.

Now I have to traipse half-way around the castle again to get back to him! Bah.

Then I appeared to be in a clock tower, and it was difficult with loads of Medusa heads and dragons and Disc Armours in. And then, I found Death. Surely I shouldn’t be up to Death yet? I mean, he’s usually at the end of the game? I tried to kill him, and it took ages to defeat his first form and then his second form killed me. So I don’t think I should be there…

I backtracked a bit, but the castles in the sky warped me around again and I ended up in a place with a black cloud blocking a door, and I don’t know what to do there. Eventually, I managed to make it back to known territory and saved the game. An upside of my wanderings is that I now have over 50% of the map open.

After that, it was STOP! Hammertime! As in, I met Hammer. And he told me he was going to set up a shop by the castle entrance. As you do. I then collected a soul that gave me a double-jump (finally!) and had a bit of an explore some more, heading vaguely to Hammer’s shop, and finding a few new routes and a warp point along the way.

Killed some more bosses, including a huge suit of armour and a thing which kept swapping heads, and have the group slide power-up too.

I’ve also got a nifty broadsword now, which is a bit slower than my previous weapon of choice, but does waaaaay more damage and has a wider killing arc, meaning I can swipe it at things above and below me. I’ve improved my armour as well, buying War Fatigues from Hammer, and have a soul which boosts my strength. However, I’m now in an area with some witches and persephones and it’s a bit hard.

Worked my way up into some sort of bell tower, but couldn’t find anything to do up there, so came back down again. I then found another save point, followed by a Manticore boss, that killed me. So it’s harder than Harmony if nothing else…

Only played for about half an hour so far, and Soma’s sword (rather than Juste/Nathan’s whip) is taking a bit of getting used to. I’ve already found a few things about Harmony that I prefer to this (yes, I know – and I didn’t like that as much as Circle), such as the ability to save anywhere, and the ability to equip more concurrent items. However, since Aria has a primitive version of Dawn of Sorrow‘s soul system, you get to use several magical items at once. Graphically, it’s very lovely, and the silly blue glow of Juste is no more, which is good.

I’ve killed a huge skeleton-with-no-legs boss, gone up abut 4 levels already, upgraded my weapon and armour, got a soul to let me jump further, have assorted other souls, and have run out of places to go already. Hurrah!

Then I found, right at the very top of the map, part of Dracula’s body. This opened a passageway – and I knew it was the blocked hole in the floor near the middle of the map. So, I set off down there, bought loads of Potions and High Potions, and saved next to the hole before jumping in to kill…

Maxim? What, no Dracula? Well, I was expecting Maxim then Dracula, but no – just Maxim. Who was easy. And then it was game over and I’d won. Sort of. Not the proper ending, methinks.

A quick search of the internet, and it seems I needed to be in Castle B, not Castle A for the proper ending (and have some specific items equipped). So off I went, only to find the hole in the floor sealed. I didn’t have all the parts of Dracula, apparently. Eventually found his missing eye (nice), and tried again. Hurrah! I was in!

Then there was Maxim to kill again (he was even easier then), and finally Dracula. Well, not Dracula as such, a Dracula Wraith (who was so easy I didn’t even get hit), followed by a second Dracula form. Who was also easy. In fact, I would go so far as to say that Dracula was in fact the easiest boss in the entire game. Tch. So much for my millions of High Potions…

And that was the REAL actual proper happy ending! Completed!

I have killed a couple more bosses (including a Giant Merman), and found a load more HP/MP/heart Max power-ups, and have explored 125% of the castle(s) now, but I have no idea where to go next. There are loads of doors still locked, a hole in the floor that is sealed, and at least three rooms I can’t navigate as I can’t jump high enough…