(This suggestion from @spudgfsh)
Donald J Trump
Donald J Trump (I believe the J stands for “Jam”) is an American rich person who wishes to be in charge of one of the most powerful countries in the world (no, not China). He aims to do this by making increasingly outlandish claims and promises, like building a wall to keep those pesky Mexicans out[ref]You know that episode of The Simpsons with the Ogdenvillians? Just like that.[/ref] – forgetting that boats and planes and spades and goddamn ladders exist.
In fact, not just ladders. David Hasselhoff still exists, and look at what he did to the Berlin wall. In a fight between Trump and The Hoff, my money is on The Hoff, obviously. I mean, he has a talking car and can hold his breath underwater for like five minutes or something, whereas Donald Trump has mouths for eyes.
That said, I’m genuinely scared about what will happen if Trump actually becomes president and David Hasselhoff is somehow unavailable to save the world. It won’t happen, as common sense will out just like it did with Brexit. Oh, wait. Just like with leaving the EU, there’s a lot of lies being spoken as facts, and in this day and age one hell of a lot of people seem happy to agree with lies they like rather than accept facts they don’t.
Anyway. I’m not big on politics and certainly not clued up enough on US politics to comment on policy and stuff (and I’ve no say anyway) but Trump has said an awful lot of nonsense about Hillary Clinton. I’m sure she’s no angel either – she is a politician after all – but of the two I’m certain she is the better choice.
The most important thing about Donald Jam Trump, aside from his hilarious name, is his hilarious hair.
About 18 years ago, I went to County Hall in Norfolk for a course, and the first thing that struck me as I entered the foyer of the building is how 70s the decor is. I understand that in the last few years everything has been updated, but back then, it was all brown-yellow carpet and dark wood panelled walls. You may be wondering what this has to do with America’s Next Top Nobble, or you may have already guessed:
Donald Trump looks just like the outdated interior of Norfolk County Hall did two decades ago.
Yep. It’s uncanny. And I know you can’t tell what said interior looks like because I don’t have any pictures, but just look at Trump and imagine his face in vestibule form.
