There’s one word which makes culling the D list a lot easier: Disney. As in, He disney wanna play any of them.
This is because, there are one hell of a lot of Disney games for the GameCube, and it would seem that most of them begin with the word “Disney”. We can bin every single one of them along with another Disney D game which doesn’t contain “Disney” – Donald Duck: Quack Attack.
It may seem harsh getting rid of so many just because they have the misfortune of being a Disney licenced product, but really, they all deserve it. From “Disney’s Magical Mirror Starring Mickey Mouse” (which I completed, for my sins) to “Disney’s Tarzan: Freeride”, they’re all – without a single exception – crap. Some even have the double-whammy of being Disney and sports. Disney Sports Soccer for example. No.
Some other games that won’t progress past this point include a number of Dragon Ball Z titles (these are never good, yet people keep buying them), Dora the Explorer: Journey to the Purple Planet (hopefully she never comes back), Dave Mirra Freestyle BMX 2 (it’s no Tony Hawk), and a pair of Def Jam fighting games.
What a dark time in gaming history.
It’s not all bad though! Have a look at what actually is worth mentioning:
Donkey Konga is a rhythm game, starring Donkey Kong, where you use a pair of bongos as the controller. You slap either drum in time to the music as shown on screen, and it also has a microphone which is designed to pick up claps, adding a bit more variety. It is a lot of fun, although your hands will hurt after even a short play. There were two sequels, but the original has the best tracklist and in rhythm games, the tracklist is everything.
Doshin the Giant surprised everyone by making it out of Japan, although it never reached the US. You take control of a huge naked yellow giant who definitely has a prominent navel and it isn’t a willy at all. He can raise and lower land, as well as move stuff about, in order to help the inhabitants of the world. Or, he can turn into the evil Jashin and wreak havoc on everyone. It’s a little like Black and White, but so much better.
And the Alphabest?
It’s funny that both games involve slapping stuff with open palms – you on the bongos in Donkey Konga, and Doshin himself in order to flatten the landscape. This aside, they couldn’t be more different. Donkey Konga is frequently frantic, but Doshin is mostly laid back.
Between them, I’d have to choose Doshin the Giant. It’s such a cute looking, relaxing game to play. Even when things go wrong – like natural disasters – you never feel pressured or stressed. And of course, it’s utterly bonkers, and that’s always an easy sell to me.
Next time: E. Is the Magic Number. (But what does it all mean?)