I won a competition today! I’m most impressed, as I never, ever, win anything. At all. Ever.
I had to come up with family friendly versions of “mature rated” games. In the end, I think I won through swamping them with entries. Anyway, my prizes? Not so amazing, unfortunately. I won copies of Xbox Live Arcade lemons Yahtzee, Connect 4 and Battleship. They’re not awful, but they’re not exactly the sort of thing I’d normally be after. Not least because they’re 800 points each. Even less so since I managed to get a free copy of Connect 4 earlier in the week anyway! Tch.
You want to know my submissions for the competition then, right? Right:
BoyoShock: Welsh quiz game where wrong answers mean harmless electric shocks from the special controller.
Ramble Roses XX: OCD botany adventure starring female wrestlers. Take country walks and pick flowers to dry and press.
Wake Alan: Puzzle game where you must assemble Wallace & Grommit style devices to break Alan’s slumber in time for school
Battlefield: Bed Company. It’s all out war as two rival bed manufacturers battle for Slumber Supremacy!
Head Space: Video game version of the hit Xbox 360 TV adverts. Fill your gormless avatar’s head with all the fun of the 360!
A Comb In The Dark: Against-the-clock hairdressing fun for all the family. Try to craft a coiffure before the light fades!
Left 4 Dodd: Road trip multiplayer adventure as 4 teenagers travel across the country trying to reach a Ken Dodd gig in time
50 Cent: Buddies on the Sand. Beach party game with 50 Cent and his G-Unit chums.
The GoatFarmer II. Breed goat allies and use them to ward off the rival SheepFarmer and CowFarmer gangs.
Hello Wars. Futuristic RTS in which two rival factions – one human, one alien – try to out-polite each other with greetings
Resident Orville. Cuddles has locked Orville up in Keith Harris’ mansion and you have to explore and solve puzzles to save him