I’ve had a Switch for more than 24 hours now, so it’s time to talk about it. In a stream of consciousness list form, and mainly concentrating on the negative aspects, because that’s how the internet reports on things now, isn’t it. Hot takes! Coming through!
It’s so much faster than the Wii U
I don’t mean performance-wise, as I’ve seen nothing to suggest that’s the case. No, I mean the UI, starting up, poking around the settings and stuff.
It’s all so very sparse
“Clean” is one way of describing it. The 3DS and Wii U came with all sorts of trinkets and oddities preinstalled, like the AR stuff and other tech demos. Nothing here like that. The eShop too is bare bones, and not simply because there aren’t any games yet. It’s three pages of big “metro” style panels. That’s it.
The home screen is going to fill up quick
I’ve only got five game icons on it and have to scroll through them already. Make the panels smaller, or have folders, or something, sooner rather than later!
The Pro controller is excellent
Comfortable, weighty and with great button press feedback.
The joycons are… odd
Separately, one in each hand, they’re OK. The right stick is a little hard to use like this, but they’re OK. Using a single one as a controller on its own, is less good. They don’t fit in your hand properly and they’re tiny. Even with the rail things on the SL and SR buttons aren’t well positioned and seem pretty unresponsive.
I’ve not had the left joycon disconnect issue
Not yet, anyway, but it seems it’s only Zelda that it has been affecting and I’ve not played that in the way that the problem manifests.
As a handheld, it isn’t great
Two and a half hours on Zelda and the Switch battery was begging for electrons. The whole unit is too heavy, and too thin, to be held comfortably for a long period. The controls on either side seem too far apart as well.
The screen is nice
It is, actually. Incredibly responsive when typing on the on-screen keyboard too.
Needs to be quicker. Too many steps, far too slow. At least let me copy them to a USB drive or something.
The Switch game cards do taste disgusting
It’s region free!
Which is excellent news. Even the Switch eShop is effectively region free too! I set up a Japanese account and downloaded demos of Puyo Puyo Tetris and Dragon Quest Heroes I&II. They’re not in the UK eShop, but Just Work from the Japanese one. And speaking of games…
Is frustrating. Fantastic, but with three players so damn frustrating. Why won’t you just do what I say, idiot family members?! Note: if family members are reading, I love you very much.
Is fast. It feels like F-Zero GX did, which I suppose is the point. The looks great, and I can see other people really enjoying it. Just not me so much as I’m not a fan of the genre. Why did I buy it? I panicked.
Dragon Quest Heroes I&II
Might well be in Japanese, and just a demo, but it feels a lot like Hyrule Warriors. Which means that if this is confirmed to be multiplayer, I’m contractually obliged to buy it.
Puyo Puyo Tetris
Seems to be the same as the 3DS version, but that isn’t a bad thing. I certainly won’t be paying full price for a UK release, but am more than interested in a cheap copy.
And that Zelda game?
It’s… a 3D Zelda game. And I think you all know by now what my thoughts on those are. If you don’t then, briefly: They all seem wonderful but after a while I just get bored with them. This feels a lot like those, only on a bigger scale with everything more spaced out. Except it isn’t quite, as it actually Assassin’s Creed III in Hyrule. And we all know how great Assassin’s Creed III was. And there are Borgia Towers. Sort of. And a million places to visit. It’s Link in Ubisoftland.