I know I haven’t played this in almost two months, but other things arrived and got in the way. Anyway. Today I played it for about two or three hours, which was long enough to finish the next few islands and complete the game!
Harbira Island was fantastic. A giant shop full of nerdy pop-band fanboys, complete with geek dialogue and two arcade games which you play as yourself. As in, a racing game where you run round the track. And fight the cars.
Overall, a really good, original, funny and bizarre RPG.
I found an archaeologist, and led him through the pyramid I could get further through than the other one (if you see what I mean). I then found a secret room, and in it, some panels on the floor – one for each attack type. I walked over them all, and the Striking one disappeared and boosted my stats, but I don’t know what to do with the other two.
I then left, and bumped up my cooking skills to level 23, and I can now cook Rotten Meat, and make Potions. Aces. Problem is, it’s actually easier to buy potions, and you’re hardly saving any money at all from making them yourself.
Then I bought some better weapons, and found a woman in a broken car, which I fixed by buying a spare part. To thank me, she took off her clothes and gave them to me. Then I went for a bath in an oasis with another semi naked woman. This game is wrong.
Eventually, I realised I couldn’t find anywhere else to go, and it seems I need a Monk Outfit from the Ruins to dig a hole somewhere. So off I sailed back to there, killed some of the people (to see what happens), and found a miner who took off his clothes. I then stole them. After that, I gave a girl some flowers, killed a child and an old woman (more wrongness), and set sail back to Aegis. Which takes Aegis. Oho.
Hmm. I seem to be a bit stuck. I’ve explored a load of Aegis, found two pyramids (one of which I can’t do anything in, and the other appears to finish as a dead end), and talked to lots of people, but I don’t know what to do now.
I bought some herbs, filled my bottles with water and tried using my recipe for potions. But it doesn’t work. So I thought I’d use my recipe for Thai curry instead (coconut and spices), but that also failed to work. Bah.
I thought the next boss was going to be Mint, and I certainly met her, but no. It turned out to be a big machine (controlled by a lab technician on the top screen) and a load of soldiers (which kept being “beamed in” by another lab technician). Both were overseen by a man in a hat.
And it was the most amazing boss fight ever. You have to kill all the soldiers before you can attack the machine, but they keep being beamed in by the bloke on the right. If you kill them, then the machine attacks you. Luckily, there are big channel + and – buttons, which control the giant TV set behind everyone on the top screen, and different channels distract different people. Like, the cute animal channel stops one of the technicians from doing his job.
This was fantastic, until I found a channel called (and I kid thee not) “The Pink”, which was full of semi-naked women wrestling, kickboxing, and posing. This distracted everyone, making the boss a complete walkover. Ace!
After that I worked my way back out of the complex, killed the pilots (and got a “Flyboy” suit), impressed a woman with my dragonfly, and then set sail for Aegis and the next Cell. Hurrahz.
Off I went to Ft. Eagle, where there was some sort of military base and loads of soldiers. And some Metal Gear references, not least with the killing of a snake.
And there’s a great bit where you overhear some pilots saying they spent the budget on a new runway and they don’t have any money left for planes, so they practise by running round pretending to be planes!
Killed lots of evil sheep, some snakes, some slime things, loads of soldiers, a clone snake, and then Lester (a boss of sorts, who I’d fought in the caves too), and now I have a load of cubes to get past and kill something else to get the cell. I think.
Finally managed to drag myself back to this game. I don’t know why it’s been so hard to do so, as it’s a great game, if a little hard. Having said that, the baddie that I thought was a boss due to his difficulty last time I fought him, fell to my club with ease this time. Sadly, the real boss (a huge crystal monster) was waaaay harder.
I had to level up my stats (you don’t level up yourself, as such) to do it, and arm myself with a bone rather than my club, but after about 6 tries, I managed it. Then I did a few side quests (finding a lost kid in the caves, and rescuing a man from his own store cupboard), and then did a bit of cooking. Now the route to the next island is open, so I should be off there next!
So I made a start on this today, and so far, I’m really liking it. I’ve done the ‘tutorial island’ section of the game, found some kind of water ninja suit for Terry (the main character) and levelled up a fair few times in most of my stats.
I’ve also been to the island where the (literally) naked chef is, got his clothes back from a monkey, and moved on to the island where the next power cell is. I’ve found it, but was killed by someone else who also wants it. Bah.