Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories (PS2)


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I now seem to be working for Gonzales, as well as still doing some missions with Lance to try to recover where all the drugs we had have gone. It would appear that they’ve mostly gone up his nose. Anyway.

Also expanded the “empire” a bit, and now I’m stuck trying to blow up antennae on the tops of police stations. With a rocket launcher.

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories (PS2)


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Much of today’s play on this was spent on expanding my empire a bit, to earn a bit more money each day. Sadly, this wasn’t easy. In order to take over businesses, you have to destroy the vehicle outside them. But, since you can’t manually aim any of your weapons, this means you can only do it by smacking them with something like a baseball bat or golf club (which takes aaaaages), unless you happen to have some (wildly inaccurate) grenades.

Anyway. I did further the story a bit by taking photos of the army bloke and making out he was working with the police, in order to persude some drugs barons that I’m not the reason the drugs went missing. Or something. To be honest, the story is crap.

What isn’t crap, though, is the fact that I found a helicopter! Hurrah!

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories (PS2)


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Gay bikers killed! I’m still not sure why they tried to kill me, but anyway. Then Forbes tried to escape, so I ran him down, then nicked a load more drugs and escaped to… the other island! Hurrah!

Lance, however, has spent all our money (again) on swish apartments. But then, he is an idiot. I’d kill him, but Tommy Vercetti will do that for me in Vice City a few years later.

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories (PS2)


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The story in this game really isn’t anywhere near as good as other GTA games. Everything you do seems to be for some tenuous reason. Vic isn’t into drugs, doesn’t want to deal in drugs, and yet almost every mission has him stealing drugs or lining up a drugs heist or something else to do with drugs. And if it isn’t drugs, it’s guns. All to earn money (which Lance seems to be spending faster than you can get it) on your other brother’s hospital care.

Today’s missions included kidnapping Forbes (who, it turns out, was a cop) and locking him in a flat tied to a chair. And then I infiltrated a gay bar full of bikers who decided to kill me. Because everyone knows that gay bikers instantly want to kill people who just happen to have entered their bar by mistake. I died a few times on that bit and gave up for the day.

I hope I get to the other island soon.

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories (PS2)


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You know, with “trails” turned off in the graphics options, suddenly everything is a lot better looking. But sadly, still awful.

Problems I had today:

In one mission, you have to use a fire engine to put out a fire. Controls for the fire engine’s water cannon are circle to fire, and the right stick to aim. So you need two right thumbs.

Near the first safehouse you get access to (just south of it, in fact) there’s a motorbike. If you get on it, a “collect shiny things” (or something) mini-game starts. But won’t actually start the clock until you collect the first shiny thing. However, having gotten on the bike, you can no longer start any other missions, even if you get off again. I found this out having driven miles away, and the only way I could “cancel” the mini-game was to destroy the bike, which was easier said than done. I pushed it into the sea using a taxi in the end.

Louise asked me to take over Marty’s business (after Marty became a bit dead), and for a mission I had to go and pick up two goons. Who really were goons, as they did nothing. I couldn’t recruit them, speak to them, or anything. They just stood there. So I ran them down and got Mission Failed.

The mission where you pick up Lance from the airport and then escape from the cholos, then get caught in an alley and have to shoot them? Bloody hell. The driving bit was fine (aside from the crap analogue sticks providing no accuracy on the targetting), but the alleyway was almost impossible due to the crap targetting and the way it kept locking on to already dead people instead of those people in my face, kicking my shins. It didn’t help that the next bit (get a car and escape the police to get to a hotel) was bloody hard too as the police kept blowing up my car mere inches from the hotel front door.

Aside from all them, though, it was “great”.

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories (PS2)


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Or rather, Vice City Stories of Blur and Brown. The game looks horrific. I mean, Canis Canem Edit didn’t look great, but this? Awful. It’s like someone took the original Vice City and smeared it with dirty hands. I suppose that’s what you get for porting a PSP game back to the PS2. Anyway.

So I’m Vic Vance, Lance Vance’s (from the original) brother, and this seems to be set a while before the original. I’m a corporal in the army, or rather, was, until my crack-head sergeant send me on drugs and gun running errands and I got the blame.

I then fell in with a few hicks who sent me off blowing up cholo vans and nicking cars and stuff, and then I won a quad-bike race. Oh, and then I did my usual trick of finding the airport and spending ages doing stoppies and wheelies, and jumping over things.

So far, so GTA. Complete with even worse controls than I recall. Despite being the same game engine as Canis Canem Edit, and being the same sort of game, they’ve switched the target button from L1 to R1, shoot from R1 to a face button, and taken away the ability to crouch. And the graphics… I’m not usually bothered by graphics, but when they’re a step behind previous games in the series, and they’re bad to the point where they’re affecting gameplay, I do have a right to moan a bit. I’ve hit a bug already too – all of the vehicles vanished. Every single one, even the moped I’d stashed in my garage – gone. All the people vanished too. Thankfully, starting a mission restored them all.

I’ll give it a bit longer, but I think San Andreas and Saints Row may have spoilt it for me already.