This is Dave

Dave likes carrots and tickles

Dave enjoys collecting conkers

Dave plays guitar in a 1970s themed punk band

Dave once got into a fight outside a nightclub

Dave has a superfluous toe on his left foot

Dave can’t swim

Dave is 112 years old and lives in a nursing home

Dave is constantly mistaken for a telephone

Dave is on a liver transplant waiting list

Dave likes peanuts but is badly allergic

Dave enjoys walks in the park, sunsets, and stabbing people

Dave was once mistaken for Trevor Macdonald

Dave used to be part of the world’s first five-piece operatic girl band

Dave is a haemophilliac

Dave appears in TV commercials for washing powder

Dave bought a box of chocolates for his girlfriend but ate them himself

Dave knows the nuclear launch codes