On the 10th November 2004, I ordered a Gameking handheld, and 13 games, from www.gbax.com. A couple of days later, the whole lot arrived. And what a truly fantastic bit of kit it is.
As you can see from the picture, the Gameking is very similar to a standard Game Boy Advance. Very similar. In fact, aside from the words and start/select button locations, almost identical. Don’t be fooled, however, as there are some quite major differences. Firstly, there’s a reset button on the front of the Gameking, and secondly, the screen is much smaller and much lower resolution: something like 64×48 monocolour pixels. If that.
Also unlike the GBA, the Gameking has three built-in games, accessible from a menu which appears if you turn the unit on sans jeu – Miner, 2003, and Drifter. Naturally, all are fantastic titles.
Miner is a Bomberman clone. Due to the ultra-low-res graphics, this isn’t instantly obvious, but soon you can see that that blob of pixels is a baddie, and that blob is a bomb, and so on. Ace.
2003 is a 1941 clone. The things that look like crosses are actually planes, and the giant melons are bullets. You can even loop-the-loop like you can in the 194X games too. Ace.
Drifter is a Wonderboy clone. Although there is a nice Wonderboy-alike picture on the Gameking box (see below), the one on the unit doesn’t seem to be the same game, as again, blobs represent fruit, baddies and axes. Ace.
Game win play happy fun! Now great warrior!
The Gameking comes from China. The company that make it (the snappily named Guangzhou Daidaixing Tec. Electronics Co. Ltd., or “Time Top”) have a website at www.timetopcn.com. Consequently, as any fan of the internet knows, the manual and blurb translations have become a little, erm, creative.
Example:
Miner Story Brief
In one accident, Nanny enter into the evil spirit world. After experiencing all sorts of difficulties, Nanny found the time channel to get back to the modern society at last. However,there are 25 toll-gates in the channel and there are variousevil who aredefending in each toll-gate. In order to comeback, Nanny used the modern weapon to defeat the various kinds of evil…
Of course, all spelling, grammatical and spacing errors are sic. And recall that Miner is a Bomberman clone. Ace, yes? I expect you’d like to read the other two blurbs as well, so…
Drifter Story Brief
According to the recording of history, there is an island named ” Gold Island” on the Pacific Ocean, storing the enormous treasures. So the tramp drives the ship to seek the island alone. After long-term vagrancy, the trampfound theisland eventually. But they are facing various monsters and obstacles on the island.
2003 Story Brief
Some day in 21st century, our marginal sea were suffered the attack of enemy’s plane suddenly. For safeguarding our motherland and territorial integrity, our one-five-two air force team receive the order and launched a soul-stirring air battle with the enemy
Inspired. The fun doesn’t stop there, however, since the Gameking manual (entitled “Series Game Instruction”) provides even more insight into the magical world of translation. For starters, the cartridge slot on the unit is intriguingly labelled “Faucet” in the “Consoler Configuration Instuctoin” section of the manual. We are also informed that the Gameking uses 2xAAA batteries, with “the function of saving power and strong sound effect”. The Gameking also “adopts one transferable, four-step-grey level LCD display screen”. I have tried to transfer it, but I can’t figure out how.
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Thank for your review. Game’s look really nice. Tell me where I can buy one? Must have strong sound effect included, thanks mate.
thx peps for looking @ my game and thx for rating it!
I haven’t done this for a couple of years, but I thought I’d have a look at the search terms people used to find this blog, my gaming diary, and my main site.
My Blog
Seems The Prize Directory has been up to their old tricks, as the top three search terms in 2015 all referenced them in various permutations. More than half of the rest of the list reference them too.
Second to that are assorted searches for upgrading your 3DS SD card. I’m pleased my guide is so popular! Some even searched for “deKay 3DS transfer”.
Lower down the list, there are searches leading to my guide on how to swap the audio output on RetroPie, inject Windows updates in a .wim file for distribution, and stuff about EyeTV streaming.
My Gaming Diary
(Which is here, in case you didn’t know)
Far and away, the most popular search term last year for my Gaming Diary was “princess nom nom”. That free, simple, but somewhat endearing clicker game (without much clicking) that you can find here. Perhaps I’m one of very few people to have written about it.
After that, generic searches for “gaming diary” and “lego games” were common, and then there’s a big stream of things with very few hits each – “titan souls vita”, “nintendo wii repair guitar whammy bar spring diy”, and “super mario 3d world fairy”. Some people were looking for help with specific games (“last window key music box”, “american sk8land old school gaps”). And then… some odd stuff:
“akiba’s trip undead & undressed girls naked”
“king of all cosmos swimsuit edition”
“playstation home coy pose”
Perhaps the most confusing of all, was “dekay for monkey game”. No idea.
My Lofi-Gaming Site
(Which is here)
Sadly, I’ve not updated my main site in quite a while, but my NES PC article is still very popular, according to the search terms. Most of the rest of the searches are about emulation or the Time Top Gameking.
And two people searched for “emulation xxx picture”. Erm.
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With types of media already sorted (see part one here), it’s time to rank within types. In this post, I’ll be looking at cartridges. Remember, if a cartridge isn’t listed (like the Colecovision) it’s because I don’t have any first hand experience with them. Oh, and I’ve decided Lynx cartridges are actually more like cards, so it’ll appear in that list instead.
Cartridge Based Media
By far the biggest and most varied category, so probably the most difficult to organise into any sort of order. But I’ll try! From worst to best:
NES Cartridges
We love their iconic size and shape, but we hate that they suffer from dust and residue problems on the contacts – more than any almost other cartridge type listed here. The size is also completely unnecessary, as aside from the connector they’re internally identical to Famicom cartridges which are about 1/3rd of the size. In fact, some NES games literally have Famicom cartridge innards with a pin adapter attached. The Pinbot cartridge, for example, can be opened up to reveal a removable and reusable adapter. Also iconic, but totally unnecessary, is the whole Betamax-like cartridge mechanism on the console, which causes wear and tear on the slot pins.
Watara Supervision Cartridges
Actually, my Supervision is a Quickshot branded one, but the cartridges are the same. They look a lot like Game Gear cartridges, but like the Gameking, they have exposed contacts! Madness.
Gameking Cartridges
These are going right near the bottom of the pile. They’re literally just Game Boy cartridges with protruding contacts, like the WonderSwan cartridges. Yes, I love the GB ones, but this is cheating, and not even cheating well. Mind you, it fits in with the rest of the system, which looks like a Game Boy Advance and has poor clones of other games. Don’t know what a Gameking is? Read this!
Jaguar Cartridges
These look awful. The stupid sort of curved “handle” on the top of the cartridge, which looks like a pool noodle stuck to a swimming float, just ruins any chance they have of being anywhere near the top of the list. A terrible design which just makes them look tacky rather than powerful, which I expect was the real intention. They’re pretty solid though, so there’s that. And I’ve just realised I missed them off my list in Part One, so they’re not exactly memorable.
C64 Cartridges
Although they came in variations, some longer than others or slightly different shapes, most were very similar to Atari 2600 cartridges. Almost all of them have tiny boring labels too. They’re pretty dull, frankly.
Master System Cartridges
Boxy and boring, but instantly recognisable with their burgundy squared labels, Master System Cartridges lacked the variation appeal of other consoles. Almost every cartridge was identical with only the name of the game differentiating them. That said, they were well built, and formed the basis for the similar but better realised (and more rounded) Mega Drive cartridges that were to come.
Videopac Cartridges
The Philips Videopac G7000, an Odyssey 2 clone, has stonking cartridges. They’re massive, even though the board inside is mostly blank (so a little pointless, much like the NES ones), but what I like is the huge carry/pull handle on the top. A proper handle too, not like that terrible sausage affair on the Jaguar cartridges.
Game Gear Cartridges
A bit bigger than the Game Boy cartridges, with a nice raised grip, but pretty dull otherwise. They’re not iconic like the Game Boy ones, and although there’s nothing actually wrong with them, I just don’t like them very much. Yes, that’s a valid reason.
game.com Cartridges
These tiny little stubby cartridges are quite cute, but they’re also very plain and often badly moulded as they were so cheaply produced.
WonderSwan/WonderSwan Colour Cartridges
Very similar to Game Boy Advance cartridges in size and shape, these commit a might sin: the contacts protrude and are therefore uncovered and unprotected! This might not seem an issue, as they’re always either in their lovely little plastic cartridge cover or in the actual console, but it totally ruins how they look and makes me fearful that just touching the contacts by mistake might make the cartridge explode.
Super Famicom/SNES Cartridges
They’re a little bigger than Mega Drive cartridges, and they’re a lot whiter, but ultimately they’re not that different. They sometimes have a split cartridge connector, with a long connector in the middle and two (mostly unused) shorter connectors at either end. The US versions with their squared off edges look terrible compared to the sleek PAL/JP cartridges though, so they’ll need to be elsewhere in the list!
Nintendo 64 Cartridges
An evolution of the SNES cartidges. A similar size, a bit more rounded, and somehow feel quite a bit heavier. All that extra data I suppose, bulking them up.
Game Boy Advance Cartridges
Like half a Game Boy cartridge (in fact, it uses the same slot), the lovely aesthetic of the original is lost. They’re impossible to break, don’t have dust problems (somehow!) and are very small, but they’re missing something intangible, without which they’re not very memorable.
Neo Geo Pocket/Neo Geo Pocket Colour
Similar in size to Game Boy cartridges, but slightly fatter and a bit more square, these are a little less pleasant on the eye than but still lovely and chunky. They’re incredibly solidly built too – I’m confident you could drive a tank over them.
Atari 2600/7800 Cartridges
Now here’s an icon. The cartridge itself is a plain rectangle, albeit pleasingly chunky, but it’s the labels that really make it. In fact, just look at the screen furniture on this very blog you’re reading right now – it’s 2600 cartridge label inspired for a reason! There are three main styles of label: Early ones were either plain words or have a picture in the middle, later ones have shiny silver labels like something from 70s sci-fi, and Activision cartridges have mocked up screenshots on them. They’re all so classy, and I love the colours, the fonts and the styles. There’s something very pleasing about stacking a load of 2600 cartridges up and looking at the top labels too:
(image from here)Uniformity but stylish. As for 7800 cartridges, they’re virtually the same but they labels aren’t as good, sadly.
Famicom Cartridges
Very similar to the shape and size of the later Mega Drive cartridges, but much more rattly. They’re plasticy, feel flimsy, and frankly I’m amazed they still work as they’re also seemingly very prone to oxidisation on the contacts – certainly mine seem to need cleaning every time I use them. What I really like about them, however, is the colours. The plastic of the cartridges themselves are all sorts of different colours – something not used by many other consoles. Sure, there are coloured Pokémon Game Boy cartridges, and the odd one or two others, but these are exceptions whereas the array of colours for the Famicom is incredible. Super Mario Bros USA is pink! Pink!
Game Boy/Game Boy Colour
There’s something very pleasing about the dimensions of the Game Boy cartridges. Not just their size, but their aspect ratio is perfect on the eyes. The “Nintendo Game Boy” logo recess on the front which doubles as the “grip” to remove them, the little notch taken out of the corner so the handheld’s power switch holds the game in – it’s a triumph of design. The Colour versions are very similar, but more rounded and the grip part now bubbles out, reducing the appeal a little. Unfortunately, both types, like the NES cartridges, seem to suck dust out of the air and so contact cleaning is frequently necessary.
Mega Drive (and 32X) Cartridges
These are the definitive definition of game cartridges for me. There was some silliness with the western cartridges having slightly different outer plastic shells to the Japanese ones (which I slightly prefer), meaning they physically wouldn’t fit in each other’s slots (oo-er) but this feeble region locking was easily defeated with an adapter. Or, if you were brave (and stupid), you could take a Dremel to the console’s slot. The cartridges never seemed to need dusting, they have a nice “grip” inlay and seem almost indestructible. EA, Acclaim and Codemasters for various reasons had their own variants of the same design: EA made theirs taller, apparently to appear superior, and added a yellow tab which I thought for ages was a removable battery – it was literally just a yellow tab, and Codemasters included two extra joypad ports in their “J-Cart” games, but ultimately, they were the same basic design as Sega’s. 32X cartridges are almost identical to Mega Drive ones in terms of size and basic shape, only they have a slightly recessed label and “speed lines”, which I don’t like as much so they can be listed higher up.
To round up
From worst to best cartridge 1 media. Yes, I really did put NES last because although they’re great, they’re such a wasteful lie:
NES
Supervision
Gameking
Jaguar
C64
US SNES
Master System
Videopac
Game Gear
game.com
WonderSwan/WonderSwan Colour
32X
Super Famicom/PAL SNES
Nintendo 64
Game Boy Advance
Neo Geo Pocket/Neo Geo Pocket Colour
Atari 7800
Atari 2600
Famicom
Game Boy Colour
Game Boy
Mega Drive (Western)
Mega Drive (Japan)
Join me again next time when I rank some other types of media! Who knew this was going to be such a long process?!
Notes:I have typed that word so many times now it has lost all meaning ↩Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)MoreClick to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)
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