Cheese in Video Games

Everyone’s favourite mouldy milk product

cheese

(This suggestion, obviously, from @JayTay)

Cheese in video games

The main problem with cheese in video games is that it makes them stop working. Especially if it either blocks the cartridge slot, or it melts all over the circuit board. It doesn’t especially matter which cheese you have, either, as one way or the other it’ll clog up your console and then you won’t be able to play video games on it.

How sad you will be, just because you put cheese in your Mega Drive.

If, somehow, you have managed to get cheese in your Mega Drive, or any other console, then follow these simple steps to rectify the problem:

  1. Wash your hands: Your console doesn’t want your germs.
  2. Unplug the console from the power: A happy repair person is an unelectrocuted repair person.
  3. Wait for the cheese to set, if it has not already.
  4. Wear sunscreen. This is standard advice for most tasks.
  5. Unscrew all the screws in the console. It is important you keep the loose screws completely separate to each other, as screws are known to reproduce when in close proximity. 1
  6. Disassemble the console. Some have ribbon cables or other connectors that need disconnecting, so pay attention.
  7. Using a Brillo pad (other brands are available) scrape away as much cheese as you can. Carefully use a small screwdriver or pointy knife to dig out any cheese that may have found its way into small crevices or gaps.
  8. If you still have some cheese residue on the console innards, simply spray WD40 all over the greasy areas, leave for 20 minutes, then rinse under a cold tap.
  9. If your console is still wet, you can bake it dry in an oven. 100C for half an hour should do it. If you only have a microwave, then wrap it in a tea towel first, before “cooking” it on low power for 5 minutes.
  10. Reassemble the console.

And that’s it! Your console should be Cheese Free (you could say it’s now a vegan console) and you can get back to shooting aliens!

If for some reason your console will no longer operate, simply buy a new one.

Notes:

  1. This is why whenever you reassemble something, there are screws left over.

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