Gitaroo Man

Gitaroo Man

In general, I like rhythm games. I liked Samba de Amigo, and Parappa the Rapper. I liked Donkey Konga, and I like Dancing Stage. This, however, is pants.

I’ve done the tutorial, and defeated three baddies. Not without some difficulty, though. It is as if the game is trying to be three rhythm games at once, and fails at all three. The backgrounds make it difficult to see your cues for starters. Even when they don’t, they’re difficult to follow partly because the cues are so small, and partly because they move so quickly. Some of the cues (in “defend mode” specifically) move at different speeds towards the centre of the screen, making it impossible to judge the order they’ll arrive. And, whilst watching one type of cue appear, another type appears off to the edge of the screen and flies in so fast you miss it. Think the Macarena track on Samba, on the hardest setting, and then poke yourself in both eyes whilst playing. It’s like that.

Then I had Ben-K, the Space Hammerhead Shark to defeat. It’s too fast, the cues swap order too close together due to differing speeds, and I turned it off in disgust. Rubbish, rubbish game.

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