What? In? Hell?
This has to be the slowest, hardest, most irritating game ever made. Ever. Your character (Simon? It doesn’t tell you) moves as a snails pace. You have no subweapons. You can’t jump very far (and the game is full of pixel-perfect jumps), you only have three lives, often when you die you go back miles, and the whole game jerks and judders all over the place.
So I spent AGES trying to get past the Stepping Stones of Doom (pixel-perfect jumps) near the end of Level 1, and finally made it. Then Level 2 threw up some heads that spit balls which aren’t nice, and boomerang men, before finally making me kill a load of moles. Which I eventually managed. But since when did Dracula have moles?! Bats and zombies and rabid dogs, yes. Moles?
Now I’ve just got past an awful forced-scrolling vertical run-from-the-spikes bit, only to think “Phew!”, and then have another forced-scrolling horizontal run-from-the-spikes bit. With pixel-perfect jumps! Hurrah!
I’m this close to smashing the game into a billion pieces.