A few years ago, while Dan Marshall was developing this originally, I was following him live-tweeting the process. So hooked on the idea was I, that the second the game came out on Steam I bought it – even though I rarely played games on a computer and, in fact, it was pretty broken on the Mac at the time.
I played it a fair bit and really enjoyed it, but found the bugs and wonky controller support (plus it wasn’t on a console) then too much of a barrier to play more. It’s probably much better now, but I just wanted a Switch port.
Then this week – there was a Switch port release!
And it is EXCELLENT. In case you’re not aware, it’s a football game written by someone purposefully getting the rules and procedures wrong. There’s silliness (like when you score a goal, the umpire kisses you) and a plot about your footballer’s dead dad and wanting to win the World Cup of Football. but the important thing is that Behold the Kickmen is so much fun to play.
The simple point-and-hold-and-shoot system for both doing Big Kicks and tackling makes it very accessible so you don’t need to worry about any FIFA complexity. The “wrong” rules like getting two goals if you’re further away and the round, walled pitch just make it more fun, and the crowd chants and between-match ridiculous story exposition are funny.
I’ve played it through in story mode and Won the Sport, but it’s definitely something to play again.