No, I’m serious. I really did play and complete Paw Patrol on a Roll. For Science?
You see, one of the ugvm people bought a charity bundle of games and one of those was Paw Patrol on a Roll. As they were clearly above playing it (or even claiming the code) themselves, it was offered up and naturally I took it. Beholden to play it, I did.
It’s a bad game. I don’t think anyone was expecting anything else, what with the source material, the fact it’s a licenced game, and it’s aimed at four year olds. It’s solid, it looks OK, and if you’re a four year old fan of Dogs Pretending To Be Emergency Services I expect this is great, but otherwise? No.
The main issues revolve around the repetitive nature of the levels and – worse – the soundbites. Every five seconds, some kid with an annoying voice exclaims that “You got the pup treats!” or “I detect a gold paw print!” or other stuff you only need to hear once – if at all. Every level is basically the same: Some really, really simple platforming, with the occasional need to call a different dog to come and clear a path. How these dogs manage to drive their truck or fly their helicopter to the point they’re needed when the only way to reach them is on foot (otherwise why wouldn’t you just drive/fly there?) isn’t made clear. In fact, almost every level could be easily completed with just the pink dog and her helicopter flying directly to the point you need to reach, and all that rubbish platforming could be avoided and the game would be over much more quickly.
Am I sad it’s now all over? No. Was it worth the Zero Pence I paid for it? No. Would I recommend this game to anyone? No.
