Oh Sega, how I once loved thee. Your happy Sonic games with their speed and platformingness and fun. Why hast thou forsaken me with this swill?
Sonic Unleashed, like other recent Sonic games, is crap. Well, the demo is crap at least. Really crap. And there isn’t even a werehog stage to play, and the werehog stages haven’t exactly been top of reviewers’ lists of Ace Things About Sonic Unleashed.
It’s like they took all the worst bits of all the Sonic games since the Dreamcast days, and stuck them all in one game. Without any of the good bits.
There’s the rubbish rail grinding bits from Sonic Adventure 2. There’s the “hold right and press nothing else” bits from Sonic Rush (only with the tricks that build up your tension gauge removed). There’s ryet another annoying furry. There’s the doesn’t-work-properly running into-the-screen nonsense of Sonic and the Secret Rings. And there’s the you-can’t-see-far-enough-ahead-so-die bits from the Sonic Advance titles. And hidden bottomless pits!
Seriously – it’s like a compilation disc of “Sonic’s Worstest Moments”. I’m amazed it doesn’t have Nick Hancock doing a voice-over or something.
Are Sega listening to what people are asking for in a Sonic game, and simply laughing and ignoring them? Fuck off, Sega.