Assassin’s Creed: Revelations (360): COMPLETED!

Dear Ubisoft,

I am a big fan of your historically almost-accurate hood-wearing murderous free-runner simulators, but despite having played your three most recent in relatively quick succession and anxiously anticipating the finale of the “Ezio Trilogy” and its associated Revelations, I was shocked to discover that you seem to have forgotten to include any.

Unless, of course, I have to unlock them by playing this poor Welltris/Mirror’s Edge minigame to completion, which, frankly, isn’t going to happen. Not least because it is the worst thing in all of creation.

Once I’d sat through the 462 minute long end credits sequence, where you name each and every person who ever existed throughout the entirety of time and space, before switching on a random name generator and churning out another 14 billion people who never existed throughout the entirety of time and space, I was still awaiting any form of revelation. But none came.

Unless no revelation was the revelation? How very meta of you!

Anyway. Keep up the good work. I hope to be completing Stabby Hood Tomahawk Man Death III later this year.

Love,

deKay xxx

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.