One question I’m sure you often ask yourself, is what would a point and click adventure game animated by Terry Gilliam look like? It’s something I’ve certainly pondered hundreds of times, and now there’s a conclusive answer: The Procession to Calvary.
Mechanically, it’s “just another adventure game” in the style of Monkey Island or Sam & Max. The humour is veering that way too, via Monty Python. But graphically, it’s like nothing else I’ve ever played. You see, all the visuals are ripped straight from classic paintings. Which I would love to name for you but I haven’t a clue what they’re called. But I do recognise most of them.
The story follows you, as a soldier, at the end of a Bad Holy War where you did a lot of Murdering, being told “No More Murdering” by Immortal John, the new king. Except this one guy, you know, the real bad guy: Heavenly Peter. So off you trot to find him, solving puzzles of the sort you’d expect from the genre but wrapped up in absurdity and these old paintings. It’s stupid, but in absolutely the best way.
It’s short, at around two hours long, and none of the puzzles are going to sweat your brains, but it’s frequently hilarious and just so damn ridiculous you simply can’t not love it. I’ll leave you with this: