The Nintendo Switch

I hear hot takes are the done thing these days.

Nintendo Switch

This week, Nintendo finally unveiled the console that until Thursday was known as the Nintendo NX: The Nintendo Switch. It’s a car crash.

nintendo switch
The Nintendo Switch. JUST LOOK AT IT. Urgh.

I hate everything about it. The tiny little controllers. The way it seems to be aimed at millennial hipsters. The way it doesn’t fix the issue of too many controller types that the Wii and Wii U suffered from. The stupid little kick stand for when you need a tiny console to play on an aeroplane. Having a screen when most of the time you won’t need a screen. The new Nintendo logo. The way it sort of replaces both the Wii U and the 3DS without actually doing so.

It is all utter nonsense. Nintendo have lost the plot. Although they did provide us all with this:

nintendo switch
Lip biting confirmed.

The system is absolutely not what I want from a Nintendo console, but that does present a question: what do I want from a Nintendo console?

The answer? I don’t know.

I do know what I want from Nintendo games – that’s easy: fun, happy blue skies games without swearing that my family will also enjoy, but in terms of hardware I have no idea. Maybe this tablet with detachable controllers will be excellent, or maybe being able to use two tiny pads with a tiny screen in two player will end up being a killer feature. I can’t see it right now, but Nintendo have a habit of knowing what works.

It may not have been commercially successful, but the Wii U is a great console. The 3DS may not have matched the sales of the DS, but it’s a fantastic little machine. The Wii sold well but was derided for the slew of crap it put out and the “waggle” in titles, but there were some incredible games for it.

Ultimately, it would seem that although I don’t know what I want from Nintendo hardware, Nintendo do, and in the end it’s the games that matter. And the games will be outstanding, because they’re Nintendo games.

And for that, I’m in for a Nintendo Switch. All the way in:

nintendo switch

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