Hurrah for games for children! Except Pokémon is a game for MEN. Obviously. Or something. Just like all the other Pokeymang games, Sapphire starts with you meeting a tree-named Professor (Birch, in this case), the Professor’s kid, and your rival (May, in this game), and your own My First Pokémon (I picked a Torchic). And off I went, into the Magical World of Pokémon(TM). Walked through some grass, and got to the first Gym, to find my dad. Couldn’t fight …
Set my new Megadrive 32X up for the first time today, so I could finally get round to playing the 32X games I’ve had on my shelf for more than 5 years. First up was Virtua Racing. It’s, er, not as good as I expected. Part of the problem was with the screen shaking due to something wonky in the 32X itself, but is isn’t as good as the standard Megadrive version. Then it was onto Doom. More screen shaking, …
Hurrah for cuteness! I infiltrated the space base of the evil block king bloke, and was turned into a block myself a few times by lasers and stuff. Made my way to another really simple boss, who effectively killed himself. After that, it was onto the final level, where the villagers were generating power to fire a photon cannon at a giant robot, and I had to slow him down by throwing bombs at him and then launching pineapples at …
A cute rocket firing, wheeled baddie thing to kill (who was easy), and onto another level of more cute stuff. I’ve been asked, “Doesn’t the cuteness in Hello Kitty Roller Rescue make you want to vomit your kidneys up?”. And to that person, I say: “Yes. Yes it does. Through my eyes.” There was a car park level, and I rescued a cute toy car thing. Had to find it some cute batteries, but soon it was smashing through walls …
More cuteness, and rescued more cute animals and unlocked more cute dresses for cute Kitty. Blew up a cute train using cute pineapples shot from cute pineapple cannons, and then rescued a cute monkey from the cute frozen food section of a cute supermarket. Cute blocks on cute skis tried to beat me up (in a cute way), but I defeated them with my new cute toy hammer, which beats the living cuteness out of their cute faces. Then I …
I bought a game in a pink box! Hurrah! And it’s so cute it makes you want to gouge your eyes out with a fork! BEST! Played for about half an hour, which was long enough to complete the first 4 or 5 missions. Rescued Kitty’s mother, her sister, Purin, a frog thing, and Lala. It’s all very easy so far. And cute. Vomity-cute at that. I’ve even unlocked new costumes for Kitty – a denim one (complete with denim …
After the usual stuff, I took Chris for the longest walk currently possible, past some of his favourite urinating spots, and let him have a play with Poppi and Casey. Although he doesn’t like Casey. But he does like Poppi. He found a new toy – a rubber bone – on the walk too. At least he isn’t scared of that. Tested him on his tricks again, and he simply refuses to Beg now. He’ll do everything else, but I …
More of the same, basically. Walking and feeding as all that rubbish. I did throw the Bark Ball he’d found for him a bit, but he’s scared of it. He’s scared of pretty much everything, actually, not least the big stick I throw at his head. Entered him in the Open Class Frisbee Contest, where he came 3rd, but then on Expert he came first, getting me $350 in total. I then pushed him for Master, and although he managed …
Feed, water, wash, walk. Stupid animal. CAN’T YOU HUNT OR SOMETHING? Entered Chris in the Frisbee Contest, on Expert level, only for him to fail miserably. Why is there no “Put Down” option? And why can’t I take him to the vets to have him ‘fixed’? He was getting far too friendly with Poppi on his walk.
Gah. Cutesy Nintendo games are not supposed to be hard. Or irritating. So why should Yoshi be irritatingly hard? I’m sure it wasn’t when I was playing it a few weeks ago. But now, after finishing off Chapter 4, and then the Boss (who I had stupidly assumed was the end of game boss, but no), it was on to Chapter 5, which is hard. I hate these “Get 80 coins and finish in 60 seconds!!!!” missions, and the “new” …
Blimey. I played this so much today, I got to the end. For the sake of brevity, and also to avoid spoilers, here is a condensed version of the events of the day: Mysterio called me to his “underground lair”, which was a funhouse. Killed deformed mirror versions of myself. Went to Octavius’ presentation, machine went loopy, his wife died, arms got fused to him. Dr. Octopus attacks the bank, I chase him off, he takes Aunt May, I chase …
More photos to take, and met up with Black Cat again (for the third time, I think now). She’s bloody irritating, as you have to chase her across the rooftops every time. After beating some crooks up, it was over to see Mary-Jane, and quickly off to the cinema. Chapter 7, and Quentin Beck challenged Spider-Man to a duel-of-sorts, which was much like the TV programme Gladiators. Firstly, I had to catch criminals and throw them into holes, then I …
First task in this chapter was to take some photos from assorted areas of the city. For no real reason, it seemed. Then, it was time to defeat Rhino. This was pretty easy, but involved dodging and countering his attacks rather than just hitting him. After that, it was off to Octavius’ lab for a quick visit. Spent a while afterwards doing hero-type-stuff to get Hero Points, so as to advance to the next chapter – Chapter 6.
Chris still isn’t dead, it seems. Hungry and thirsty again though, yes, but not dead. He wasn’t even that dirty for some reason. Washed him anyway. Took him for a long walk then, and he met Poppi the Labrador. They had a bit of a yap at each other, but I dragged them apart and we carried on to the discount shop. There wasn’t anything new to buy there, though. Entered Chris in the Open Class Flying Disc contest, where …