Keita Takahashi makes some really odd games. Most well known (and probably still his best) is Katamari Damacy, but I’ve also played, enjoyed and got thoroughly confuddled by Noby Noby Boy (the refrain from which is still a thing in my house), Wattam and Crankin’s Time Travel Adventure. to a T, completed with a lower case t at the start, is his newest and yeah, it’s a concept.
Your main character, who I think is a girl but maybe you just interpret how you want, is a normal human teenager living a normal human life except for some reason your arms are permanently stretched out to the side like you’re locked in I’m-a-aeroplane mode. You attempt to do normal human tasks like get dressed, have a poo, brush your teeth and eat (increasingly weird flavours of) King Pig Breakfast Cereal whilst unable to move your shoulders or elbows. Luckily, you have your dog to assist.
Quickly, things get even more bizarre when a freak accident at school makes you realise you can fly like a helicopter, and because you use this ability to save the life of one of the schoolkids who bullies you for being a T, you make some new friends.
The gameplay is mostly walking round town looking for things or people, and using the controller to try and perform actions like your morning routine or taking part in PE or science lessons in your unique T-shaped way. Each day is essentially a new “episode”, so they start with the opening credits and catchy theme tune and song, and finish with the bizarre “giraffe learns to be a chef and grows vegetables and gets up at 4am to bake bread” song. It’s nuts and awesome.
Eventually, you find out the reason you’re a T. And there’s no way in hell you’ll guess why before you get there. You also take a little detour spending a day controlling your dog for Reasons. Oh, and at one point you have to race a train. Also, when you play (and please do play it because it’s like nothing else) do look out for the easter eggs referencing Takahashi’s other works – they’re pretty much all there, somewhere.
to a T defies a full description (at least, without ruining too much), but it is great. My only real issue with it is the way the camera angles change at various parts of the map which got me a bit lost, but on the up side I did find some secrets as a result. And that catchy stupid song which you can’t unhear. Glorious.
