How many cows can fit on a bed?

What do you call a cow that can’t speak? Moo-t.

cow on a bed

(This question from @Species_Female)

How many cows can fit on a bed?

This may sound like a stupid question, and I’d have to agree, but it is a vitally important one. You see, in our house, animals sizes are measured in the SI units of “How Many Can Fit On A Bed”, and “How Many Can Fit In My Hand”.

I don’t think my wife quite realised just how big an actual cow is, because I once suggested that you’d realistically only get one on a double bed, and even then it’d probably overhang, whereas she thought two or perhaps four was possible. Of course not. They’re literally the size of cows.

But how big is a cow?

It’s clear there are different types of cow, and not all breeds of cow will be the same size. Also, differently aged cows will also vary in size. However, we need to start with a sensible median, so lets take dairy cows, as they’re one of the most common.

There are seven or eight main breeds of dairy cow, at least common the UK. The largest of these is either the Brown Swiss or the Holstein breed, both of which grow to over 140cm tall. Some have grown to over 190cm! More than 95% of cows in the UK are Holstein cows. Jersey cows tend to be the smallest at around 125cm when fully grown.

Lets take an estimate that most cows will be around 135cm tall.

Now for length, which I found difficult to locate a definitive answer for. However, if I take a picture of a cow, then measure it’s height on the picture, I can estimate – using that measurement – how long it is. Genius, me.

Cow Length

You can see that it is roughly 1.5 times as long as it is tall. Using the estimate of 135cm tall, that makes the cow roughly 202.5cm long. Let’s say 200cm as it’s a round number.

If a cow was lying down on its side, it would occupy an area of 135 x 200cm. A standard UK double bed is 137 x 190cm, so the cow is actually slightly larger, but all the measurements were estimates so it’s fair to say it’s close enough to being the same size.

There you have it. How many cows will fit on a bed? One. Just one.

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