I’m stuck. After working my way through some more tumours and polyps and stuff, I can’t get past the multiple aneurysm level. They just keep appearing and bursting and bleeding and I can’t keep up with them. Worse, is that they appear off-screen too, so you can’t even see them. So I keep killing the patient. Technically, you never actually “kill” anyone, as another doctor takes over at the last second, but still.

This DS game (yes, another one – there are MILLIONS of MAXIMUM NEEDAGE games out for it at the moment, it seems) came today. It’s a little bit gruesome, what with you having to perform surgery on patients and stuff, but good, anyway. Cut out some tumours, lasered some stuff, removed large chunks of glass from someone’s heart, and sewed up assorted cuts, slices and other holes. I have learned the “healing touch” now too, which allows me to slow …

Loads of stuff done today. Worked my way up to the next city, defeating trainers left right and centre. When I got there, I got myself a bike, and rode back to the previous city on the “cycling road”, defeating more trainers. Then went back up to the “new” city again, and wandered around defeating more trainers and Pokémon, and caught a Plusle. Beat May and Wally again too. Went into the Gym there too, and defeated all the trainers …

Clearly I wasn’t paying attention to what was actually going on, as the museum was now open for me to get in, and Capn. Stern was in there all along. A quick fight with two consecutive Team Aqua Grunts, and I’d given Stern the Devon Goods. I’m at a bit of a loss as to what to do now though. I wandered north a bit, and caught an Electrike, as well as fight a few more trainers. My Torchic has …

Hmm. I defeated a load of trainers at the beach, and then moved onto the city itself. Loads of Team Aqua goons are hanging around a museum, and Captain Stern (who I’m supposed to give the Devon Goods to) has buggered off. Went on a bit of a hunt for him, beat some more trainers, levelled up my Zigzagoon and Poochyena a bit, and then realised I don’t have a clue where to go next. Hurrah for me!

Brawly defeat0riZ0red! Turns out my Beautifly had learned “Gust”, which just blew him away. Hahaha! DYSWIDT? It seems Gust is the ubar-move for killing all rock Pokémon, so after getting Flash and the Muscle Badge from Brawly, I headed into the nearby cave to find Steven and give him his letter. Killed a load of pokeymen there, and caught a few too. My Lotad evolved too, into a Lombre – some bizarre Mexican lilypad monkey thing. Off to Slateport in …

Went to see Mr Briney, who owned a boat, and he took me across the sea to some place called Dewford Town. There’s a gym there with fighting-type Pokeymen, and I didn’t really have any Pokeymen to use, so wandered round levelling up my Shroomish and Zigzagoon, and also caught a Magicarp. Once Shroomish was up to about Level 14, I set upon the Gym Trainers, defeating them all, but the Gym Leader “Brawly” has a load of Level 17 …

Wandered up towards the Rusturf Tunnel, defeating trainers left right and centre with my ubar-powerful Beautifly, and get my Zigzagoon up to level 10 on the way. Team Aqua had stolen some stuff from the Devon Corporation, so it fell down to me to get it back. You know, it’s one of them things kids are for. Anyway, went into the tunnel, found the “Team Aqua Grunt”, defeated him, and returned the moychendoyse to the Devon Corporation, who have now …

Gym Leader Roxanne – SMOTE! My Lotad, being a water Pokémon, easily defeated all of the rock-type Pokémon in the gym, and although it almost died actually fighting Roxanne herself, I swapped it for the newly evolved-from-a-Silcoon Beauifly who had a grass move (absorb) which was even more damaging. So, Stone Badge GET!

Some more levelling up, and then off into some woods. Faught a few trainers (most of whom had Bug Pokeymen, and caught myself a Silcoon and a Shroomish, both of which are pretty pants at the moment. Made it through the woods and into a city, fighting more trainers and my first Tag Team on the way. I’ve been trying to avoid using my Torchic, since it is now on Level 13, where as my others are on 4, 6, …

Hurrah for games for children! Except Pokémon is a game for MEN. Obviously. Or something. Just like all the other Pokeymang games, Sapphire starts with you meeting a tree-named Professor (Birch, in this case), the Professor’s kid, and your rival (May, in this game), and your own My First Pokémon (I picked a Torchic). And off I went, into the Magical World of Pokémon(TM). Walked through some grass, and got to the first Gym, to find my dad. Couldn’t fight …

Set my new Megadrive 32X up for the first time today, so I could finally get round to playing the 32X games I’ve had on my shelf for more than 5 years. First up was Virtua Racing. It’s, er, not as good as I expected. Part of the problem was with the screen shaking due to something wonky in the 32X itself, but is isn’t as good as the standard Megadrive version. Then it was onto Doom. More screen shaking, …

Hurrah for cuteness! I infiltrated the space base of the evil block king bloke, and was turned into a block myself a few times by lasers and stuff. Made my way to another really simple boss, who effectively killed himself. After that, it was onto the final level, where the villagers were generating power to fire a photon cannon at a giant robot, and I had to slow him down by throwing bombs at him and then launching pineapples at …

A cute rocket firing, wheeled baddie thing to kill (who was easy), and onto another level of more cute stuff. I’ve been asked, “Doesn’t the cuteness in Hello Kitty Roller Rescue make you want to vomit your kidneys up?”. And to that person, I say: “Yes. Yes it does. Through my eyes.” There was a car park level, and I rescued a cute toy car thing. Had to find it some cute batteries, but soon it was smashing through walls …

More cuteness, and rescued more cute animals and unlocked more cute dresses for cute Kitty. Blew up a cute train using cute pineapples shot from cute pineapple cannons, and then rescued a cute monkey from the cute frozen food section of a cute supermarket. Cute blocks on cute skis tried to beat me up (in a cute way), but I defeated them with my new cute toy hammer, which beats the living cuteness out of their cute faces. Then I …