Mission 22 was easy! Daunting at first, but when you realise the enemy can’t build any new units (nor can you though), and you’re separated by a pipe, you can damage them heavily before they break through then finish them off once they make it over your side. Which is what I did. And, despite some stupid mistakes on my part (one of which lost me my battleship), I S-Ranked it! BEST.

Mission 21 was a right pain. I’ve done it now (with a rubbish B), and my final attempt (of four or five) did seem a lot easier. There are so many things to keep an eye on – the timer, until you’ve launched all the missiles, enemy infantry getting to silos before you (especially if they’re a fair way away and Black Hole are about to Tag Team you – getting two goes in one), transport ‘copters taking infantry behind …

Bah. I was doing really well, had shot all the missiles at the satellite, and had destroyed the huge cannon thing. I had even managed to make inroads towards the Black Hole base, and was generally winning. I had a small army of Blue Moon Neotanks and artillery en-route to do some damage, and a Blue Moon Battleship was providing backup and cover. And then, I got sloppy and let one Black Hole soldier through to the Blue Moon base …

Mission 20 was a bit bizarre. Black Hole had five Black Crystals (that heal all units around them by 2 each move), but started with a load of assorted units on just 1 point. Of course, each turn they were repaired, so obviously a balance was stuck between blowing up dangerous-when-healthy units before they were repaired, and destroying the crystals to stop units being repaired. Wiped out most of the dangerous units before they really started fighting back, but was …

First thing for today, as every day, was feeding and watering. Then, I checked to make sure Chris could still remember all his tricks, only to find he’d forgotten “Sit” again, so I had to teach him it again. Well, taught him “Sit Down” as that seemed to be recognised more easily. Out for a walk then, and he found a red polka dot ribbon on the way. Gay-tastic! Found another pet shop, and this one sold milk and canned …

With Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan out of the way, it’s time to return to Advance Wars: Dual Strike. Mission 19 was easy. Really easy. At first, it seemed impossible, as there were about 20 Oozium thingies all spread out across the map. However, that’s pretty much all that I had to contend with, and they move only one square at a time, and can’t move and attack in the same turn. So, as long as I didn’t get surrounded, it was …

About another 20 tries this morning, and a few near misses, and I finally, finally, finished Normal Mode. Finally. Finished. Gibber. I only had ONE miss in the end, and only just managed to spin the final wheel before dying. My arm hurts. My index finger has a stylus-end shape gouged into it. My DS is relieved it hasn’t been snapped in half. And now, Hard mode with Impressive Chin and Hat Man has been unlocked. And oh, it’s hard …

NO. NO. NO. And NO. I’ve attempted the final level now more than 100 times. REALLY more than 100 times. I was even keeping count. I even got onto the LAST BLOODY WHEEL on it, but died before I got a chance to spin it. The end og the chorus bit keeps throwing me, and the change in chorus at the end of the song really threw me. Can’t be done. TRUFAX.

I don’t understand why the last few levels (the Cops vs Alien Robots one, and the Giant Rat one specifically) seem easier on Normal mode than they did on Easy. Bizarre. I made it through both of them without too much difficulty. The final level, however, is an ENTIRELY different story. It’s the hardest thing ever. I’ve managed to get onto the second stage of it three times, and the third stage (briefly!) just once – and that’s in over …

Oh Chris. Why must you be looked after every day? Why do you whine at me for food? Idiot dog. After feeding and watering, I took him for a walk. On the way, he found a stick. Hurrah! He then ran into Casey, who’s owner had a go at me for letting Chris poo on the floor and not cleaning it up, even though I didn’t actually see Chris do such a thing. And why would they have actual pooing …

MotoGP – Makes me feel sick. And digital controls + MotoGP == EVIL BADNESS. Puyo Pop – Too small. Eyes bleeding. Still too easy though. I win. BEST. Virtua Tennis – Rubbish. Slow, rubbish, slow and rubbish. And rubbish. AND SLOW. Super Monkey Ball – Played all of Easy. It was Easy. Controls were not. Medium will be too hard due to idiot controls. HATE. SMASH.

Poor Chris. I leave him alone for two days and he becomes flea infested and dirty. And hungry. And thirsty. Again. What the hell would dogs do in the wild? They’d bloody die without me there to clean them and feed them and throw balls at^H^Hfor them. Anyway, I sorted him out and spruced him up a bit, and checked to make sure he could still Lie Down, Roll Over, Spin, Jump and Sit (only to find he’s forgotten ‘Sit’ …

Potter? Potter-schmotter. EASY. Well, compared to the next few, anyway. Managed that and three more stages, including Diahorrea Violinist On The Train, and the 234252 times attempted Political Candidate Vs Evil Purple Afro Guy. Hurrah for me! I seem to be “in the zone” some of the time, and actually hit numbers before I’ve really realised they’re even there. Which is good. And then, sometimes, I just go loopy and completely miss everything and die. Which is bad. It seems …

Normal Mode is hard. Like, really hard. I managed to do the Ramen Resturant stage, but the Potter one is driving me nuts. I know it is possible, and I am improving, but succeeding still seems a long way off. The music is ACEBEST though. Is there a soundtrack album available anywhere?