deKay

Hoorah! The World’s Strongest Robots si teh defeat0rised. Again. Turns out they were not quite as difficult as I was expecting this time round, and Pluto only took 326325 attempts instead of 9843965839. After that, it was Stage Hoppathon time, meeting people and collecting “clues”. I would repeat them here, but they’re both spoilers, and completely hatstand. So, fought a huuuuge great ninja robot, jousted with a robot on a robot horse, and generally got very, very confused. And then …

Gah! Who decided to make the second run-through of the game about 89263864 times harder than the first? For starters, the baddies are now harder to kill (despite me being pretty well powered up compared to the first run), which doesn’t help. Then there’s the fact you have fewer restart points, so you have to get further through levels without dying. Managed to make my way up to level 7-1 again – where the World’s Strongest Robots are waiting. Again. …

Er, OK. So “Pluto” (no, not Mickey Mouse’s dog, the big hornéd robot thing) wasn’t impossible after all. Sodding hard, but not impossible. I’ve spent more time trying to kill him than actually playing the rest of the game so far. Yes, “so far”. Despite being the end of game boss, Pluto isn’t the end of the game. Oh no – there’s more. Lots more. Only, it’s the same as before only different. Er. Yes. Basically, after killing Pluto, you …

OK, so I killed Buzzsaw Bloke, finally. In fact, on the go I actually killed him, I didn’t even take a hit. The next boss, some kind of girly underwater bloke who summoned whales and purple spore things, was really easy, and was dead before I even realised what he was doing. But. The boss after that. A big green robot with horns and lasers and stuff. Who turns into a tornado thing and kills you in milliseconds. Who often …

This game is a bit bloody hard, isn’t it? I managed the green golum bit, and waded through more levels. Baddies so far have included flying fish, Easter Island heads on stone unicycles, ninja robots, a train, men in trenchcoats, bizarre Inca pigmies, and flying boats with rocket launchers. Some of the shooty sections are very much like Parodius, it would seem. Now I’m on level 7, and it’s boss-fight-a-go-go. It’s almost a SuckySuck(TM) bit, but since I haven’t fought …

This was cheap at Evil Game at the weekend, so I bought it. Yes, I am weak. Again. But it’s great! Platformy without much in the way of platforms, shooty but not really a shooter, and fighty but not a beat ’em up. Up to level 2-4 so far, after beating up some bees and spiders, and a giant metal spider, and some other baddies, and a horse, duck and a rabbit in a tyre, and a soldier who can …

More Deluge mode play today. Does anyone know which planets I’m most likely to get Soul and Time meteos on? I’d really like to unlock more thingies…

Just playing-to-unlock today. Managed my 13th planet, another weapon, another sound set, and found that you can create Soul and Time meteos from combinations of other meteos, which helps somewhat.

Yes indeed! Worked my way through the final four or five chapters, with a robot in tow for much of the way. Which was handy, since he killed more baddies than I did because I’m cowardly. Highlights included driving a tank with your future self as gunner (then swapping over), taking remote control of a giant Mech, destroying a giant Mech, taking out Jakob Crow in his bizarre part-man, part-machine, part-Timesplitter guise, and doing some other things which are spoilers. …

Two-player Xbox Live fun and japes today, mainly in million-way deathmatch. We are crap in comparison to those we played against, although we never came last, which is always nice. One of the maps we played on seemed to be “player designed”, as it was really small, and rubbish. There was one section you could get in, which was great for sniping, but you couldn’t get out again. Stupid.

Deluge mode again. I have 12 planets unlocked now, so went through them all trying to get high scores on each of over 50,000. Yes, I know that isn’t very high. I need more Glow and Time meteos though, and I don’t know how the heck you’re supposed to get them.

More play on Deluge mode today, racking up the Meteos and unlocked a few more things – mostly sounds, I think. I think I’m getting the hang of the more-than-frantic hold-the-drop-button-down-constantly way of playing, although I sometimes feel I’m just randomly rubbing the screen, or at best vaguely rubbing in the right place.

Two more levels completed now – both set in 2052 or something. Some more gaming in-jokes here too, with you picking up a lab suit and being called “Gordon” (from Half-Life), and some Doom 3 type sections too. And mutants who explode themselves at you. Nice. Oh yes! There’s a cleaning robot you activate too, not unlike the skutters from Red Dwarf, and plenty of Robocop bits. Excellent. And forget two Cortezeses, as one of the sections has four. BEST. …

No way in hell am I going to beat 9.17s for 100-Meteo War mode now. So I didn’t try. Instead, I attempted 1000-Meteo War mode several times, finally completing it in 3:03.58. Pretty poor, but at least it is done. “Fused” a few more items, and then fused some planets and played on those for a bit. My “Deluge” mode scores range from 35,000 to 120,000 currently. Not sure if that’s good or bad. Bad, probably.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM BEST! FOR I, BESTEST EVAAR, GOT A BEST TIME OF 9.17 SECONDS FOR 100-METEO WAR MODE. BEST! ME! WINNAR! Ahem.