Since I’m a Right Proper Hero now, I thought I’d best do some Right Proper Heroing. Off I trundled to a nearby town, and talked to all the local laydees. I then examined a bookcase in a house, only to find it wasn’t “examining”, but “stealing”, and the guards ran after me. And hit me with swords. Gah – I was trying to be nice as well. Managed to get away (I couldn’t pay the fine as I didn’t have …
After some suggestions on uk.games.video.misc, I decided to make a start on Fable. And what a strange game it is. The first thing to hit me was the accents – every English dialect appears to be covered. The next thing was the bizarre shadows on people’s faces, as if there are invisible light sources than keep moving. Very odd, and a little off-putting, especially when coupled with the Daz-enchanced Whiter Than Whiteness of my clothes. But I digress. Went round …
Well, that was quick. OK, so I’ve only finished it with Sonic, but from what I recall of the DC game, Tails’ levels are much the same, and everyone else is crap. Probably. Although the last few levels were harder (except the actual last level – that was unnervingly easy for a Sonic finalé), the only times I died were when the camera went squiffy or I just fell through seemingly solid scenery. Tch. The game tells me that I …
Three more action stages complete with Sonic. Or is it four? They all kind of went blurry. Icecap, Twinkle Park, and Speed Highway (or something) all finished. Found a gold Chao egg too, and hatched that. Really should name my Chaos now, since only Chewy has a name. Oh yes, and did Sky Chase too. Which was easy. In fact, the whole game has been easy so far. Even the boss battle against Chaos 4 (what happened to Chaos 1-3 …
How come I can only get as far as 1200m on the 2000m run now? Answers on a postcard…
I never did complete Sonic Adventure on the Dreamcast, for whatever reason. Probably had something to do with having ten billion games or summat. Decided to give this a go, seeing as it has been sat on my shelf now for some four months or so. Have finished three “action” levels with Sonic so far, which alarmingly seems to be 25% done (according to the saved game file). I know there are other characters, but still. An improvement over the …
After many, many attempts, and the creation of all new curses, 1500m is PWNED. Although a staggering achievement, sadly 2000m still looms. Despite my best efforts, I can’t even break 1200m on that one, so once again impossibility sets in. Ho hum.
Wow. Four games in five weeks. That’s about as many games as last year in total, I think. Excellent. So, the last round of Swingles meant a chat-minigame, which was easy right up to the last bit which was hard, meaning I failed twice and had to redo the whole three-minute chat again. And again. After that, I eliminated Barbera Jo (bouncy as she was), and moved on to a Dance-in-our-Pants minigame, which was pretty easy. Then the final decision: …
More feeble efforts. I managed 1074m on the 1500m run on one attempt – rubbish! Another attempt was even worse, with a rather apt 666m. Stupid game.
Looks like I’m nearly at the end of the game now. I had whirlwind romances with Barbera Jo (ended in a wet T-shirt competiton), Suzi (I joined her rock group and then spanked her), and Morgan. Morgan is by far the most bizarre of them, as she’s some kind of internet nerd, with whom I played strip-hand-slappy with, then the rudest game of Dungeons and Dragons you can imagine, and then finally we streaked campus. As they say in Americaland, …
Managed to win over Harriet first, who is very scary indeed. Not least that she’s possessed by some kind of demon. Nor that she only wants me if I dress up as a tree. Anyway, I figured out an easy way to win the hand-slappy game, and so got the Token of Affection from her a little later. Next, it was on to Beatrice, the professor in the lab. This was even more wrong, as it involved swapping my brain …
My time today was split between Analisa (guess Larry’s hilarious pronunciation of that, if you can) and Bilzarbra (what kind of a name is that?). I managed to “win” them both over, which in Bilzarbra’s case involved a sentient arcade machine. I also stumbled across the Porn Fairy, who looks alarmingly like Ron Jeremy. He burst into song, singing about being the Porn Fairy to the tune of the Gilbert and Sullivan “Pirate King” song. Which was nice.
Grrr. There is cheating afoot. There must be! I never get any of the tiles I want, and the computer always manages to finish before I’m even halfway. When I get down to needing, say, either a 3 of Bamboo or a 6 of Bamboo to win, I get a steady stream of useless Wind and Dragon tiles. Conversely, if I want a particular Wind tile, all I get is tiles from suits I’m not even aiming for. Cheating. FACT. …
Just like 1000m before it, 1500m is plainly not possible. Except 1000m was, it seemed. Anyway, 1500m can’t be done. FACT. I got to 1200m or so, and died.