ONLINETASTIC! Two online DS games in one day. Excelsior! Not that I actually played this online, I just used it to upload scores and stuff, which is pretty worthwhile. I’ve joined the rllmuk “sk8 crew”. Fo’ sho’. Currently, I’m “hangin’” somewhere in the middle of the crew’s rankings. Go me. Played “Classic Mode” mainly, which is as you’d expect – classic Tony Hawk: goals, scores and gaps. And it is excellent. The graphics are all cel shaded, but they look …

DS ONLINEAZ0R!! Ahem. First port of call when I turned it on was the Nintendo WFC section. It took a few seconds to configure, and then I was playing online against a load of random people. And it was ACEBEST. Had two full matches (4 tracks each), and came 2nd overall on the first one, and then 1st overall on the second. Not bad, considering I hadn’t even played single player mode at that point so knew very few of …

I used to have this for the Spectrum. It was crap. I also have it for the Megadrive. It is crap on that as well. Luckily, the arcade version isn’t, mainly due to twin-stickness making it much easier to aim your shots. It’s a bit of a cross between Parodius, Ai Cho Aniki, and Robotron, with some added Fantasy Zone shops. It was pretty good too, with bizarre bosses and the best Japlish cutscenes and ending ever. Probably. Completed then. …

Another game from Capcom Classics. I’d never even heard of it before today, and it’s a strange genre hybrid – it’s a horizontally scrolling shooter, but with platforms. Which are mostly pointless. It reminded me a bit of that almost unknown Master System game Cloud Master, although that didn’t have platforms. It was just a similar “feel”, I suppose. There are no levels as such, but the game does progress through 20 stages, one after the other, with no breaks. …

What a dire game. It really lacks a jump button, and a “jump to lower platform” ability too. But, I persevered with it, despite it being less than one tenth as good as I recall it being from the arcades when I was younger, and made it to the end, destroyed the device there (I have no idea what it was) and then killed some bloke who looked a bit like Olaf from Advance Wars, who seemed to be the …

I was slightly disappointed with this collection, especially after the excellent Taito one I got a few weeks ago. For starters, Street Fighter II actually makes up THREE of the 22 games listed, and there’s a load of vertically scrolling shooters (1942, 1943 and 1943 Kai – which itself is a remake of 1943 – are three of them), and even Ghouls ‘n’ Ghosts and Super Ghouls ‘n’ Ghosts, which are both essentially the same game. There are several “real” …

Snakes is a free game for N-gage owners. It’s like Snake, only in 3D. A bit like Armagetron. It isn’t all that great, but it passes the time. I’ve been playing it in one or two level spurts over the last few days and spent a while on it this evening. I’m up to about level 16 now. It gets progressively more complicated each level, with extra things to collect, avoid, or use. This level is “two sided” – so …

Played through a bit more as Red. I’ve done Moons 1, 3 and 4 now, without any real problems, but Seven Force on Moon 2 is giving me grief. I don’t remember it being all that difficult as Blue, but I can’t defeat him. Mind you, my save point does only have 40 health when I begin. I might go back a level and try to get a higher amount.

Yes, it really is called that. This DS compilation of 10 old Atari arcade games came out a while ago, but was on offer at Play Asia for under a tenner (when I ordered, at least). I knew it was pretty crap, especially the bonus “remix” versions of the games, redone with “hip” graffiti-style graphics and stuff, but my jaw hit the floor when I realised just how awful they were. Played each and every one of the games, in …

Two more levels done! Managed to get past Giant Rat vs Businessman after about 15 tries, and it was not easy. As you’d expect. The first half of Police vs UFOs was really easy. However, the second half was not – and I swear the pattern of circles changed from attempt to attempt. And it kept making them appear under my hand! Gah!! Ready Steady Go! can just eff RIGHT off. I saw a video of someone completing it the …

Played to get a high score on the Pirate Frigate level. Managed a pretty feeble 1,400,000-ish. Rubbish. Also played to get the fastest time on the Artifact Temple Thingie Table. And got an equally rubbish 2:22. Pah.

I heard, somewhere, that there was a bit in the game were you could fight the characters from Golden Axe, and fight a giant Sega Megadrive. I looked. And looked. It was a lie.

Played this on Taito Legends this evening, with the intention of completing it. It took me about an hour to work my way through all the levels up until level 4-4 – the Viking ship. Unlike all of the other levels, if you die and need to continue, you don’t respawn near where you pegged it. Instead, you begin again at the start of the level. Rubbish. And, since it is a pretty difficult level, filled with spikes in enclosed …

Another couple of levels out of the way – Ugly Cleopatra (which was bloody hard), and Over the Distance (which was bloody easy – A rank on my first go). Now there are only three songs left on Insane mode. I had a go at Businessman vs Giant Rat, but failed miserably. I suspect these final three will be somewhat difficult. Ho hum.

Another day, another level. I’m certainly not working through them on Insane quite as quickly as I did on the easier modes… This time, it was Purple Afro Election Man, and it was pretty easy up until the beginning of the final section, which just threw me over and over. I think i fluked it on my last attempt. It matters not, however, as it is teh defeat0red!